An arranged marriage S.M. 2

Chapter Eighty Four

"Sweet dreams Angle," I smile at my small daughter. "I'm gonna miss you," I whisper walking over to Maddy.

"Don't go, please?" She pouts. "You can't leave me." She begins crying again.

"I'm sorry baby girl. You know I wan to stay but the twins hate me and I don't want them to have to go instead of me." I cuddle her. "We don't have to brake up or be divorced, just think of it like," I pause looking for the right thing to say. "One of my tours." I smile.

"I hate those too. I don't understand why you have to leave me again." She begs.

"I love you Maddy, with all of my heart. And I adore the family of beautiful children we've created. But two of those amazing kids aren't mine and they want me to leave, so I will." I kiss her cheek. "Don't take it personally because this had nothing to do with you, besides the fact that they are your kids." I chuckle.

"Isn't there a way I can stop you from leaving?" She pleads. "You're sick and, and I-I need to, if you leave I can't," her bottom lip trembles and nothing she says makes any sense.

"If I leave you can't what baby?" I touch her cheek.

"Kiss you, hug you, hold you, take care of you while you're sick, I can't sleep at night." She shivers. "Please," she begs. "Don't leave me again,"

"Baby I have to. I can take Masson too, he packed his bag in case." I kiss her cheek.

"You might as well rip my heart out," she groans throwing herself into the chair.

"I know baby, I know," I nod and I truly understand. It hurts really badly to know someone in your family has to go or wants you to leave, when the twins told her to choose it was as if they had ripped me in half. I wanted so badly to be the one she chose but I picked for her telling her the boys were more important then me. Even now I want to brake down but I won't for the sake of my wife. "Maybe we can see each other on weekends or something." I lie knowing I was probably gonna take the kids to somewhere out of the city so she couldn't come running back and neither could I.

"That's not the same," she whines and I nod.

"Don't cry baby, I promise things will get better," I pour her and myself a glass of wine. I don't usually let her drink but tonight I felt a special occasion that was worthy.

"I can't believe this is happening to me," she holds the glass between her fingers.

"To our love," I smile holding my glass up.

"Our broken love," she whispers hitting her glass against mine.

"Our love is not broken, it is strong." I kiss her temple.

"It's braking, the longer we are apart the harder it gets for both of us, and Shawn you know I really do love you and you know I have a deep deep respect for you but this doesn't work." She shrugs. "I know your job makes you travel but I have to sit at home and just hope while you're in one of the hundreds of planes you take nothing happens. I have to hope that on the exact day you promised you will come home and I won't have to be disappointed, again and again." She rants.

"I know baby. I know I don't always come home when I say I'm supposed to, I know I stay out late sometimes I know I'm always traveling but you have to believe me when I say I do this to make you proud, to hope one day my kids will be able to look and say to their friends look that's my dad. I don't do this for fame." I cuddle against her.

"Come on," she grabs my hand and I follow her up to our bedroom. She throws herself on the bed and I follow we both lay directly in the middle. "I'm never gonna sleep again," she whispers.

"I'm never gonna stop worrying," I sigh kissing her temple.

"I'm gonna call you everyday." She buries her head in my chest. "And I will come see you whenever I can," she squeezes me.

"I'll come over and see you whenever I can," I feel tears forming in my eyes.

"I love you," she whispers her voice cracking.

"I love you too," I sigh letting the first tear fall from my eyes.

"Please Shawn," she begs. "Please don't cry," she hugs me tightly.

"I can't help it," I sniff. "I'm gonna loose my family."

"We will always be with you at heart." She kisses my chest.

"I know," I sigh taking deep breaths in and out.

"I don't want you to leave," she whispers.

"But baby it's me or the twins and I'm not letting you send them away." I cuddle her against me. "I won't leave till you're asleep," I whisper into her ear.

"Then I won't sleep." She sniffs.

"It'll just make it harder on both of us," I sigh kissing her cheek.

"I can't sleep unless your here," she sighs.

"I'll do anything, I'll sing, I'll cuddle, smile, cry, anything that will get you to sleep," I beg.

"I just want to hear your voice," she sighs cuddling father into me. I lay on my back letting her lay her head on my chest from the top.

"I don't know who's gonna kiss you when I'm gone, so I'm gonna love you now, like it's all I have. I know it'll kill me when it's over, I don't wanna think about it I want you to love me now." I sing gently to her. I feel something warm and wet fall on my chest. "Don't cry," I plead. "I'll see you again soon," I cuddle against her.

"You promise?" She looks up at me with dough eyes.

"I promise," I lock our lips together.

"N-now you can't brake your promise o-or I will never f-forgive you." She cries.

"If I brake this promise I will never forgive myself," I sigh kissing her forehead continuing to hum trying to out her to sleep.

"I love you, very much," she whispers sleepily.

"I love you too, more then anyone would ever know," I cuddle her.

"Goodnight," her eyes shut.

"I'll see you soon my love," I smile making sure she's fully asleep before standing to get Easton, Elliot and Masson. "I love you lots," I smile holding her hand briefly.