Numb. I couldn't feel a bone in my body. My heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing. Nothing around me was moving, even if it did I would be unaware of the action.
Hurt. My body ached. I was abused, and used for things that no girl should be used for.
Again, he used me. I sat, motionless and trying to ignore the pain coming from him pulling at my hair and smacking me.
I sat in a dirty room as the sun set. There wasn't glass for a window. It was wood nailed to the wall with small cracks to see the outside.
I laid just as he left me. On my stomach, head turned towards the window. I wondered if the boys missed me, just as much as I missed them. I have never craved to be with a group of boys so much. My heart ached to be with these boys. I wished that we never left the house, or maybe I never got a phone.
I heard the door creak open, although I did move. I stayed laying down. I felt something being thrown at me and arms pulling me up. I looked into his cold blue eyes a shook in fear. "Put this on!" He yelled. I quickly obeyed and did as he said.
Once I was dressed, he lead me down stairs. I instantly hear bickering back and forth and smelled cigarette smoke. When I walked into the kitchen I saw a group of men. They were all around my father's age, just as sick as him too. Their eyes wouldn't refrain from looking at me up and down. The dress my father gave me wasn't exactly my size.
He sat me down and handed me a bowl of white rice and a cup of water. I nearly swallowed all the food in one bite. "This is Justin." My dad said while pointing to man. "You must not disobey him! You are to respect him as you do me."
"Respect?" I nearly screamed, cringing at the word. "I do not respect you! I hate you! You're the worst man I have ever met in my whole entire life. I'm only here so my real family doesn't get hurt." I said, shocking myself with my courage.
"Don't speak your father in that tone!" Justin screamed, rising from his seat. "I don't even know you!" I said, matching his tone. "I have zero respect for any of you! Including you!" I said, gesturing to my father. "You are not my father! You are a sick man! A terrible person who will rot in hell!"
I hissed in pain and fell out my seat as I felt a fist come in contact with my face. A man I was very unfamiliar with was above me. He kicked me once and pulled my hair up the stairs.
Just as my father did hours before, he used me. I laid down just as he left me, on my side with my head turned towards the window. It was dark, the only light source was the small candle in the corner. I got up and walked over to the candle.
My feeling was unexplainable. I felt pain, I felt like I was dying. But I was okay. Knowing my family is safe is all that mattered.
I looked at the burning light and laughed. The fire shook at the contact my breath made. I stood and looked at myself in the mirror that hung above the candle.
I'm strong, Louis told me so. Liam taught me that, and Niall proved it to me. I can do this. I'll leave and find the boys. I'll find a helpful hand, no one like the terrible men down stairs.
There are windows and doors. I will escape. I dressed and found my way out the door. The house was old, the wood was worn and the paint was peeling.
I tried my hardest to put the least bit of weight I could onto the floor. I was very close, so close I could taste the freedom that was just on the other side of the door.
"Well," I heard a voice say. I jumped and turned to see him. I saw my father. He laughed and pushed my back. "Where are you going?" He asked. "The party just got started." He pushed my up the stairs and slammed the door.
"Why would you leave me?" He asked, pacing around the room. I sat in the chair that was placed by the bed. "I hate you." I nearly screamed at him.
"Oh," he began. "I love you so much, Jasmine. You're my one and only." He laughed and sat next to me. "You're like your mother. You look like her, smell like her, love like her." He smiled, caressing my chin.
"Don't talk about my mother." I said harshly. I looked away from him and kept my eyes straight. I resisted his attempts to pull my face towards him.
"I love you." He smiled, looking at me and moving me around. "Say it back." He softly said. "Say it back!" He screamed, throwing me on the floor.
"I will never, ever love you. You're terrible!" I yelled. "I hate you, I wish you were killed!" I yelled. I saw a tear roll down his cheek as he kneeled down. "What am I doing?" He asked him self. He held my hands. "I'm so sorry, forgive me?"
I was shocked by the sudden change in affection. He pulled me up, "I'll take you away from them. Come with me."
Before we exited the room I looked around. I looked back at him and pulled my arm from him. "Am I going to Liam?" I asked, a tear running down my cheek. "Never say that name again." He simply said, making our way out the house.
"Where are we going?" I asked, making my way down the road. "What are we doing?" I asked.
"Leaving." He simply said.
We drove for hours until we arrived to a small apartment. He walked me in and sat me on a couch, giving me a bottle of water.
"We will live here, you as my daughter. Your name is Caitlyn, you'll live by Caitlyn. Never mention Liam, Louis, Zayn, Niall, or Harry ever again and they will be safe and unharmed. Understood?" He said.
"Understood."
