Does She Feel The Same? ~ lapidot

Inner Demons

Peridot's POV

     I was dreaming. It wasn't a very meaningful dream or anything like that. It was one of those dreams that you forget as soon as you wake up. And that's exactly what happened. I woke up in a strange room. I had absolutley no idea were I was or why I was there. For some reason I had completely forgotten what I was doing and where I was before I fell asleep. I thought for a minute. I was doing my best to think of the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep. On, that's right. I was talking to Lapis, and then I was led to the surgery room. So that must be where I am . . . the surgery room. Well, there is no one here so I guess I'll just have to sit here until someone shows up. What seemed like ages past until someone finally walked in. It was the doctor, and Lapis following shortly behind him. She actually came to see me. That's the first time anyone's ever cared about me or my health. So this is what it's like to be cared about.
I like it . . .

     When ever I snapped out of my thoughts, Lapis was staring me in the eye. She looked like she was waiting for an answer. I guess she asked me a question.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I zoned out there for a second. Could you repeat the question."
"Oh, I was just asking how you felt." I thought about her question for a moment, and then I realized, my stomach really hurt. I looked down, my stomach was stitched from end to end. I know I had just gotten out of surgery and all. But this was the first time I was realizing that I was probably going to have to live with these scars for the rest of my life. My body had been perminatly ruined. The thought made me want to cry. I did my absolute best to hold back the tears, but one singular tear escaped my left eye. Obviously Lapis noticed right away. "It's O.K Peridot, I'm here. Now please. Tell me what's wrong."

     I did my best to make up a lie as quick as I could. "My stomach hurts, that's all." Lapis could see right through my lie. "I believe your stomach might hurt after that surgery. But I don't believe that's why your crying. Please, tell me the truth." It was no use. It tore me apart to lie to Lapis. And I've never been a good lyer anyway. " *sigh* It's just me. Look at me. Look at my stomach. My body is ruined forever. You must think I'm hideous, don't you?" All of my thoughts spilled out, and there was no stopping it. But Lapis looked at me with caring eyes, then spoke. "What did I tell you earlier? No matter how many insecureties you think you have, I think your perfect. And I always will." I was touched by Lapis' words. But then the doctor cut in. "I hate to interrupt, but Peridot needs to know that she is allowed to leave in a few days. I know Ms. Lazuli, I already told you she could leave tomorrow, but I think it would be safe if she stayed for a few days under our care until she can live in society again and not have to worry about increasing her injuries." Lapis replied with a short, "I understand." As for I, I was thinking about what it's going to be like going back to my home. I didn't like the hospital all that much, but I hated my home. I have too many memories of being abused verbally, and physically. I could feel a flashback start to cloud my
mind . . .

"Get out of my house FAGGOT!"

(I hate using that word. Please don't be triggered.)

"You're a disgrace to this family!"

"I refuse to have a gay child! Leave this house and don't come back until your straight! On second thought, don't come back at all!"

     There were multiple "reasons" why I am abused. But the main reason. Was because my parents were HUGE homophobes. I know I could call child services or something, but I'm genuinely scared to. I'm scared to because I can distinctly remember every word of the warning that my mother had given me . . .

"Listen you little shit! If you tell anyone about this, I'll make you wish you were dead."

     Lapis snapped me back to reality she was telling me that the doctor was about to lead me to my new room. I'm going to cherish these next few days in the hospital. Because when I go home. I'm expecting my parents to hurt me ten times worse because I didn't tell them were I was. I need to stop thinking about this, it's making me really depressed. But hey, that's just part of dealing with my inner demons.

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That took a while to write. Not because it was a lot, just because for the past day or two I've had a little writers block. But no worries I'll be updating again later today. Bye!✌