Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Fourty Eight-I Get That

Dad smirked. "I know. That's why your coming tomorrow," He kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"Do you really?"

"More then you'll ever know Tells."

Even though dad and El were continuously talking to me, I felt alone. Like I was sitting in a dark box all by myself with no way out. It wasn't like I couldn't pretend to be happy... I could-I was right now. After hours of following Eleanor and dad trough store after store I'd been relieved to have to go to therapy. I didn't really want to talk to Anita, I didn't want to tell her about how I dumped my boyfriend and cried over it all week. I would probably be crying over it now except I think I ran out of tears...

Go jump off a cliff of something

The words ran through my head, hour after hour, minute after minute, second after second. It was always there.

"You got diagnosed with mild depression the other month..." Anita muttered putting down the piece of paper in her hands. "How's that feel?"

"Depressing?" I replied, although it was more of a question then an answer.

"Your not a very open person are you..." Anita observed. Today she was wearing an overly tight black dress, tissues stuffed down her bra and her hair was out as usual.

"Why did you stuff tissues down your bra?" I questioned. "I'm thirteen and I don't do that... Don't need to... But I'm the teenager here..."

Anita smiled wearily. "Have you ever had a relationship Tellie?"

"I once had a gold fish..." I shrugged. "I named him goldy and over fed him and he died. He's buried in the back yard of my uncle Kill's house."

"Uncle Kill...?"

"My mum called him Kill in stead of Killian. So I called him Kill. I liked my goldfish."

"So your goldfish... Died?"

"It really effected me." I said shaking my head and holding back laughter. It was the first time all week I had wanted to smile. It felt weird, like a betrayal to Zach in someway.

"How'd your goldfish die?" Anita asked smiling.

"I don't know... It was a couple of days before my mum died. She was working... Uncle Kill had the day off so it was just me and him. I think I was trying to show him how I could feed my goldfish, but Goldy was dead so... When mum got home we buried him. Then a couple days later we buried mum."

I could remember that day clear as ever. Standing at the church, Aunt Darian holding my hand. I remember Uncle Kill saying mum went to take care of Goldy, then Darian saying she went to heaven. Then I remember the whole funeral gaping not fully understanding why I wasn't with mum. I hated that day. It was the day it seemed like my life fell apart.

One minute I'm being told my mum in heaven, the next shes with my fish then everyone's saying my name, then it's all "Bon Voyage Tellie."

I never told anyone I remembered that. But how could I forget? Maybe some stuff was vague, but I had the clear picture of it all. It was the first thing I remember. Some people's first memory's are birthdays. Some are Christmas and mines my mothers funeral.

Lucky me...

"How have you been this week?" Anita asked softly.

"Well. I dumped my boyfriend, then he got in a punch up with my friend, he also told me to kill myself, then I considered it." I replied bluntly. "I guess you could say I've been fine."

I didn't really listen to what more Anita had to say. It was probably a bunch of shit anyway... I don't want people telling me to be happy and get it over it... I know what I wanted. I wanted Zach.

New text to: Zach❤

Um... so... I just wanted to say sorry😶

My finger lingered around the send button. It was a bad idea to text Zach. But I needed to. I couldn't stand not having some form of communication with him.

"Tells, no phones at the table." Dad snapped. "Put it away."

"Why?" I asked my finger still hovering over the send button.

"'Cause I said put it away."

"Why it's not like we're doing anything but eating."

"Just put it away."

I sighed. Pressing send on the text and sliding it in my pocket. My heart was pounding with anticipation as I dragged my fork around the plate.

I couldn't eat knowing that I could get a message off Zach at any second. I needed to hold my phone. I needed to wait.

As if on cue I felt a buzzing in my pocket. Zach. I automatically pulled my phone out my heart pounding faster with every second.

New text from: 👉Corey👈

So I'm screwed next year. Wanna hang tomorrow and I can tell you all about it?

I groaned locking my phone and quickly sliding it in my pocket as dad glared at me.

"What?" I snapped. "It was just Corey..."

"I said no phones." Dad hissed.

"Yeah I know. I'm not deaf." I shot back. Eleanor looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. She stayed silent like the rest of us.

Again my phone in my pocket. That had to be Zach.

"Don't you dare." Dad said curtly as I reached into my pocket. "Don't touch it 'til you're finished."

"I'm finished." I snapped. I got to my feet, stalking towards the doorway.

"Tellie!"

I ignored dad and just went straight to the foyer. Pulling my phone from my pocket.

New text from: Zach❤

Cool

New text to: Zach❤

Cool? Seriously.

New text from: Zach❤

What am I meant to say?

New text to: Zach❤

Idk...

New text from: Zach❤

Maybe we should just stop communicating...

New text to: Zach❤

Bastard.

New text from: Zach❤

Bitch

New text to: Zach❤

I'm sorry

New text from: Zach❤

I get that. Now fuck off.

I locked my phone. Tears prickling in my eyes. I need him.

(A/N

SOME ZELLIE TEXTS ARE STUFF ME AND MY CRUSH TEXTED SO SOME OF ITS WEIRD (I was 11 and he was 12 what can I say?)

ANYWHORE

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IVE GOT THREE DAYS LEFT OF SCHOOL SO YEEEEEEW AFTER WEDNESDAY I'LL BE ABLE TO UPDATE MORE :)

-P