Lost In Stereo {Sequel To LINLYAA}

Chapter Fifty One-I'm Going To Commit Suicide

"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to commit suicide." - Albert Camus

C O R E Y

Tellie always sat on her driveway with people. It's just one of those she did. Usually because she was embarrassed to let people in her house but really I think she just liked being outside.

"So what's so important?" Tellie asked her head resting in her knees as she stared at me questionably. I looked to the gravel underneath me, running my fingers along the rocks.

"I... I wanted to say goodbye." I admitted with a sheepish shrug.

"Why?"

"I'm taking a train to Dover at five."

"Okay..."

"I'm going to the white cliffs." I said looking away from the rocks and up to her. Tellie's face looked soft. The way her blue eyes were always so full of curiosity, how her hair always managed to sit perfectly. The freckles she used to have were no longer there and they hadn't been for a while. I'd watched as we grew up, I hardly changed. But Tellie... Tellie had changed totally. She was still short, but not short enough to classify as a fifth grader. Her body now had curves, and she wasn't a flat board. Definitely not around the chest area...

Tellie bit her lip. "With who?"

"Myself." I responded my eyes tracing around her face. Tellie's eyes were beautiful. They always had been ever since I could remember.

"Why would you go to Dover by yourself?"

"Because. Tellie there's one thing I've always wanted to do and nows my last chance to do it..."

"What is it?"

"This."

I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. She'd down this before. I could tell by the way her lips moved in sync with mine.

Tellie put her hands on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to her. I wanted to stay like this forever. My lips against hers. The feeling that someone wanted me around. That buzz that went through me. I'd been waiting for this forever,

"Zach never meant to hurt you." I breathed out pulling away from her, even though her hands were still wrapped around my neck. "He's like you. He doesn't trust easily 'cause he's used to people leaving him. He doesn't believe in love or anything like that. And he actually has feelings for you, and it took him a lot to admit that, then you pretty much broke his heart so he wanted to try and hurt you too."

"Why-Why would you kiss me then tell me that?"

"'Cause I just wanted to kiss you. Zach... Zach he... Let's just say he wants to be your Romeo..."

Tellie let go of my neck. "Why would you kiss me though...?"

"I wanted to say goodbye."

"You're coming back though."

I pulled up the sleeves of my jacket, thrusting my wrist at her.

"You aren't the only person in the world who cuts." I said pulling my arm back and getting to my feet. "And, I smoke. I drink alcohol hoping it'll kill me. I only cut like twice...but either way. I'm sick of everything."

"I-Corey..."

"If it makes you feel better. Seeing you smile made me wait 'til now. Once you stopped smiling I stopped feeling the need to live."

"Why are you going to the white cliffs...?"

I laughed. She looked so curious. Like she couldn't piece it all together. I shook my head looking straight into her eyes.