Gone Country

Twenty Six

Whaaaa??? Two chapters one day after the other?? Oh yeah, lol I did that.  I thought I couldn't just really leave it off the way I did without more flare lol, so enjoy, and I hope Harper's anger can get your blood pumpin!  Or at least ready for whats to come.

Enjoy! xoxo

~

I knew he was here.  I watched him pull up.

I knew he was happy.  The smile on his face eminent.

But hearing those words come out of his mouth so cracked was what had me seeing red. He sounded ashamed.  Ashamed for not having told me when he knew my heart was now invested in his.

My mother had insisted on speaking with him first, and I had let her, but I didn't hold back for long.  After this morning with my munchkin going to school and then Jimmy, and...ah, my mind was running rampant in knowing that the man I had given my body to twice now was leaving.  And he wasn't even going to tell me.

It hurt so much that I felt dirty.

I stood on the patio glaring at him as he made an attempt to stand up.  He gripped his side and I had to remember he was still hurt, but I honestly didn't even want to care!  I wanted to kick him right in that spot and see how much he liked the pain!

"I was going to tell you Harper."

"When?  Cause according to Jason it happened a few weeks ago."  I rotted myself to the ground, not trusting myself to move forward.  Peyton started to whimper, her bottom lip pouting looking between Caleb and me.  I had forgotten she was out here with us and I felt my heart sink.  I never yelled or argued around my children.  "Ah babe, I'm sorry."  Taking her from my mother I kissed her face till she was smiling again.  "Ma?"

"Way ahead of ya."  Taking her she took her out to one of the fields to play in the grass.  Caleb's eyes trailing behind them.  I swore he looked hurt for a moment, but he covered it up quickly and put his hands in his pockets.  He was all professional...the man I had first seen.  And ready to take a beating.

"So."  I began again, crossing my arms. "When were you going to tell me?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No.  I didn't know.  And I didn't want to tell you, cause I knew you would jump to the obvious."

"Which is?"  I hadn't noticed that I took a step toward him as he did to me.  I could already feel the Georgia heat coming off his skin. 

"That I would leave you."  He said it softly, but his face was a mask.  A mask I knew he wore to cover up what he was really feeling.

"You are.  And you will.  I had already told you that!  I told you the other-"  I cut myself off and brought a hand up to my lips.  Turning away I tried to cover up the tears that were building.  "I told you that I knew you would the night you made love to me under the oak, Caleb."  I took a deep breath to steady myself.  "But you had me anyway, already knowing you were going."

"No."  He had stayed silent, but his No brought me out of the rabbit hole I was slowly moving myself into.  "I made love to you that night.  I made a statement.  You just said it yourself."  He took my shoulder and turned me around.  His green eyes looking down into mine.  "You said it yourself."

"Said what Caleb, I don'-"

"You said that I made love to you.  And that is exactly what I did.  I wouldn't still be here if I didn't love you Harper."  His words were deep and hushed, but his hands on me were applying pressure.

Did I hear him right?

Love?

His eyes bore into me and I felt my world start to spine. Love?  Caleb was in love with me?  I couldn't wrap my head around it.  I blinked, trying to clear my head, but I couldn't.  He was talking to me, lightly shacking me, but I couldn't hear or feel his hands anymore for the world was spinning...

Before I could even recollect what had happened I woke up on the couch, my mother, Peyton and Caleb all hovering over me.

"W-what happened?"

"You fainted."  Caleb answered, looking at anything but me.  He looked drawn back, but was close just to make sure I was okay.

"How did? Wha?" I was still having a hard time with this.  And then the memory of Caleb telling me he loved me flooded my mind and I felt like I could faint all over again.  No wonder he was drawn back.  One moment we were arguing, and then he tells me he loves me...boom, face plant into the dirt.  Lovely.

"Are you alright Babe?  Want me to get you some water?"  My mother had one hand on my head while she held Peyton in the other.

"Yeah..that would be great, thank you."  Sauntering off to the kitchen Caleb took the chance and sat beside me.

"Well...that's not how I had hopped to have that happen."  I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I-I don't know if I can do this Caleb."

"Do what."  His words were hushed as he looked out the window.

"What ever it is we are doing..."  He huffed, a dimple showing in the side of his face as he grinned. 

"We weren't really doing anything but enjoying one anothers company..."

"But you sai-"

"I did.  And I still hold fast on it.  I never say anything without meaning it."  He turned his eyes on me and it felt like he was searching for something in mine.  When he couldn't find it he looked away again.

"I couldn't stay under Jimmy's thumb.  Working for him.  I saw him for what he truly was, and I wasn't going to deal with it.  I couldn't possibly represent a man as manipulative as him.  He's so cocky, always getting what he wants...I couldn't do it.  Because with me, he would win.  I had never lost a case."  I watched his eyes look out over the Ranch, scanning the fields and watching the horses.

"Then why didn't you tell me."

"I didn't want you to push me out."  He was twiddling his fingers, which at that moment made me want to take his hand.  It was adorable, but I couldn't forget that I was angry with him.  Clenching my hands over my stomach I resisted.

"You have to work."

"I do.  But there are always options." 

"Your life isn't...isn't here Caleb."  I closed my eyes knowing he would look at me.  I couldn't look into his eyes.

"My life, is were ever I want it to be."  I still couldn't look at him, but I knew, I could feel it, the way he was looking at me.

I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding in and sat up from my perch on the couch. Pulling my knees over the edge I was face to face with him.

I was already broken.  My heart took a beating years ago, but the look on his face made it feel fresh.  I didn't want to feel the pain of loosing someone again.  Even if he claimed to have fallen in love with me.  Even if I knew I was already falling head first into the abyss as well. 

I knew I loved him...I didn't know when it happened...but I found in that moment that I did.  I truly had fallen in love all over again.  Just like I had as a stupid teenager..

He would go back to the city.  

And I would stay here.

"Caleb-"

"I love you Harper.  Don't make me leave."  He could see it all over my face as he moved closer to me.

"Caleb, I'm happy that you are no longer working for my ex...but,"  I looked down, " but I don't know if I could ever take another beating to my heart.  What started off as fun and games between two people with attraction, turned into a whole other ball game.  So lets just stop this before we both get hurt."

Lifting my chine he made me look at him.

"I will stay as long as you will have me Harper.  I won't be the one to hurt you."