Gone Country

Seventeen

People never truly know what life holds for them, but it is unfair, and it is unpredictable. Don't let yourself get held back from what it is you truly want, for when your older and see the things you wish you had done, you will regret and beat yourself up over it. Open up your hearts and let the life flow through you. 

xoxo, Just a few words of my thoughts. Love you all.

~

Walking down the long white halls of the hospital I balanced a sleepy Peyton.  She clung to my chest and rested her head on my breast, her eyes drifting shut.

It had been a long and challenging day, but it could have been worse for all I knew.  The least of my problems were wondering where she will rest, so I was fine with having her sleep on me.  Her little fingers curled around my loose hair, and as if cuddling closer to my breast she soundly started to sleep.

I was directed up to a floor and asking a few nurses at the desk I was able to go back into the room were they had brought Caleb and Lucas.  I came as fast as I could, but the ambulance was able to move traffic, while I was stuck in it.

Letting Lucas ride with him was something I didn't really have to think twice about, he had asked and I said yes.  No second thoughts, not even a worried mind.  The way Caleb acted with Lucas was something I had never thought possible.  He never had a father, alone a true father figure, and now he was holding onto Caleb like the only true life line there was...

I didn't have the heart to tell him that it would all end.  I couldn't bring myself for it, not only because I truly didn't want it to happen...but because my heart was now involved. I hadn't realized what I was truly starting to feel until the chance of death had crossed the line, and that was a breaker for me.

Dealing with death was something I had done several times in my life, but never wanted to face head on.  Today it had smacked me in the face; and facing it I walked into his room with my head held high.

Having knocked twice I thought it was okay to go in and hocked around the bend.  What I found there surprised me, and made me want to spill the tears that had been threatening to escape all day.

Caleb was on the bed in a light blue gown, needles in his arm, and fast fast asleep.  He looked so peaceful compared to the face of masked pain he had on earlier.  Hair a mess I wanted to smooth it down for him, knowing that he would himself when he woke, but stopped for fear of not only waking him, but my boy.

Lucas was on the left side of his bed, away from the wires and wrapped in Caleb's arm.  That's what had made me want to cry.  The care that seemed to smoother me where ever I went with that man.  He was strong and determined. Not scared in the face of death.  He took everything head on, and having comforted Lucas in the time were he was the victim...that said everything for me.  

He was a good man.

Strong.

Defiant.

He would bend the rules for his own personal gain.  I knew he would, for he already done so with me...

Slowly lowering myself and Peyton into a seat  I let my mind wonder and drift to sleep. I was woken up by the door closing and sat straight up. Forgetting that Peyton was asleep on me I froze and adjusted myself.

I was met with Caleb's green eyes when I looked up.  

"That was the doctor.  I asked her to be quite, but, well, your awake."  He shrugged and leaned back into his pillows, Lucas still sound asleep.

"Caleb.."  I started to apologize, I started to rise, but he rose a hand and I fell silent.

"You don't have to apologize for him Harper.  He made a stupid choose out of jealousy, and he had every right.  The only fault in that is, I will press charges, and being an attorney, well, that's my job."  He wore a faint smirk on his face, even as his eyes fell shut.

"How..?"  I just couldn't seem to find words.   "How is it that you can be so calm about all this?  This is your life we are talking about."  My words were hushed and hurried, but I could see it go over him, his eyes finding mine again.  He reached out and I took his hand.  It had an IV inserted and tapped on top, so I tried my hardest not to touch it.

"It's my job Harper.  My life will always ask for strength, so that is what I will give."  He squeezed my hand and I couldn't help it when the tears I had been holding all day finally came down.

"I'm sorry."  I know he has told me not to say it, but I couldn't help it.  It just all seemed so wrong.  From the beauty of the love we made the night before to this? No, it wasn't okay in my book.

Clearing my throat I sat up straighter, "What did the doctor say?"  He sighed heavily and let my hand drop.

"News that I really didn't want to hear."

"Such as?"  

He became so serious in that moment I didn't know if I knew the man laying in front of me.  Even with broken rips and wires poking out of him, he looked like he could kill.

"Other then what the EMT already told us? Well..She called my sister, and she'll be down here tomorrow."