Ears I Never Had (BWWM)

Chapter 41: Guilty (or Nah)?

A week later...
UCLA Medical Center - Santa Monica

"Mackenzie baby, I'm going to go fill your prescriptions and your Mom is getting the car. Be right back ok?". Ms. Syd wanted to comfort me so bad, but I was inconsolable. I wanted Breslin, I needed Breslin. And the Wards made sure he was not eligible for bail. According to Breslin's parents, they were trying to give him 25 years due to Xavier being in severely damaged from the brick.

I feel so guilty for being the cause of him in jail and possibly losing his potential future. Today, I was getting released from the hospital and going to visit Breslin. And tomorrow was our day in court.

This has been such a tough time, but I felt like I had the biggest support system ever between the crew, Breslin's family, and oddly mine. My Mom was probably the biggest surprisingly. The day I woke up in the hospital, we talked as if we were meeting each other for the first time. She also did something for the first time she never did, she apologized.

My Mom apologized for being a "bad" Mom and never loving me for me. Her explanation was the fact she was in my shoes before and never got to do the things she wanted to do. Her parents apparently were ten times worse than her. She apologized for all the bad things she said about my decisions, including Breslin. I never knew all these amazing things about my Mother and over the week, it felt like I got a new best friend. I forgave her because the change I felt was what I just wanted all along - a mother. There were times we were talking and it felt like I had the loving parent I lost in my father.

I was wheelchaired down to the patient pickup with Ms. Syd where we saw my Mom pull up in her rental Audi Q7 truck. "Hey, you ready?

I breathed heavily before saying, "Yea, I guess".

We all got in, but I wasn't ready at all....

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Men's Central Jail
Downtown Los Angeles, CA

We all passed security clearance as my stomach was turning in knots. I don't know if I could bare seeing him and bringing bad news under these conditions. We were waiting in the lobby when we heard "Carter". I stood up while my Mom and Ms. Syd said they would stay behind being that they had seen Breslin yesterday.

I walked down a corridor with the officers before I entered a small room with a table and chairs where we sat down and they left. I sat in the room for about five minutes before the door opened again and my heart broke.

There Breslin was looking completely out of place being escorted by officers in handcuffs and a blue jumpsuit. Even though I was seeing him with my own two eyes, it felt as though I saw a ghost. He looked pale, thin, and unlike his usual put together self. His face also looked freshly bruised and I felt an anxiety attack coming, but I had to be strong for my baby.

Our eyes locked and it seemed like it was the first time I saw a slight glimmer of happiness. The officers sat him down, and stood by the door, "Alright, you have fifteen minutes". Breslin and I were looking at each other deeply as we reached across the table to touch hands, "No touching inmate".

Breslin rolled his eyes as we backed away hands, "I'm so fucking happy to see you babe. I love you so much. Are you ok?" Tears sprang to my eyes as I was always his first priority.

"I love you too baby. I'm ok Breslin. You shouldn't be in here. Wha-, what happened to your face?"

"Don't worry about it beautiful. No different from being in foster care. You ready for tomorrow?". I don't understand how he can call me beautiful and I too had bruises.

"No, I'm nervous. I don't want to talk about it or see him. I just wish you weren't here". I lowered my head and as if Breslin was touching me, it lifted to see weary golden eyes.