Ears I Never Had (BWWM)

Chapter 6: Freshie Fun

Sparks, Ty, and I arrived at our apartment complex, still waddling like penguins from the food we just consumed. We cracked jokes about the boys and complained about our studying and homework caseload, but for tonight that was not going to matter. I went to my apartment while the girls went to Sparkle's to get their stuff.

For once, I was actually excited to go out. Normally, I went out just so I either would not be labeled as boring or harassed at home by my Mom about something "wrong with me". Speaking of which, I sent a quick message to my Mom letting her know my first day was fine and I was making friends. Of course, her reply was something negative.

iMessage from Mom 🙄: Ok, well I'm surprised and glad to hear it pumpkin ! You have to make a name for yourself . Keep me updated ! 😚

Passive-aggressive at its' finest. Why can't see ever just be content? The name I want for myself is not your idea of a name. I roll my eyes and slam down my phone, looking forward to this party even more. I need a release. I snapped out of my thoughts due to knocks, well beats, rather at my door.

"C'mon Mack it's hot out here yo, I'm baking, it's technically still summer." Sparkle ranted from outside my door. I laughed because she was so animated and entirely correct about the weather; it was ridiculous even though the sun setting was about to start. I shuffled quickly to the door and opened it to meet the stampede. I was met by the girls carrying enough outfit selections for a runway show and totes of random get-ready holy grails and necessities.

"Nice place boo, I cannot wait until something opens up in the complex. The couch is nice and all Sparks, but I cannot wait to get my own and get my stuff out of storage." Ty said while also claiming to hop in the shower first. She entered the bathroom while Sparkle continued working from her phones.

I look in my closet, very unsure of what I'm going to wear. I want to make a good impression being that it is a popping event and in the back on my mind, because Breslin will be there. Why is he consuming so much of my thoughts? Because he's different and has a story....

Sparkle snaps me out of my thoughts like she read them, "Girl, stop thinking about that boy, you going see him later, show me your outfit for tonight. I have such a cute idea for all that hair you have." I quickly whip my head around and glare at me, "What boy?". She smirks, gets up and puts on some music on my Smart Vizio TV and stands next to me. "Breslin of course. Y'all got Snapchat Goo-Goo eyes filter looks going on with each other."

I chuckle and shake my head while we go through my closet. "What? Not even. I was probably looking at the TV past his head. He'd never go for someone like me anyway." I put my head down and continue looking at articles of clothing, hanger by hanger. My browsing process is immediately stopped by Sparkle.

"Ok bro, what's the deal? Why do you shit on yourself so much? Why don't you believe you are beautiful? Like you're diamond rare hunty, beauty, brains, AND body, c'mon now. Why don't you think the things people obviously can see?" She grabbed my hand and looked me directly in the face.

It took me a minute to respond and really compile an answer. "I don't know...I mean I know but I guess I never believed it because I've never been accepted for being me. To be honest, today was the first day I ever felt comfortable being Mackenzie. Back home, almost everyone tries to change me into their idea of what I should be. I've never been good enough." I stop and decide to disclose a small part of myself to Sparkle because she's been a beacon of new hope for me. "Also, my ex-boyfriend really did a number of my self-esteem."

Sparkle stared directly in my eyes and said, "Mackenzie, you are amazing. Don't let anyone tell you anything bad about yourself. This is your life and you only get one. You have to realize how special you are. You have qualities girls kill for. And as far as your old dude, fuck him, he didn't deserve someone like you, and don't ever feel like you need validation from any man."