Just Because I Sell Myself... Doesn't Mean I Can Be Owned

Sorry For Failing You

(Raine's POV)

I sat in the clinic frantically shaking my leg. Waiting to be called into the back. My hand rested on my recently occupied stomach, and my other the positive pregnancy test. Sky didn't know about any of it. He couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to argue having another child four months after my sons death. So here I was at an abortion clinic, fixing to do away with a life. Something only Jazmyne or Laylee would do. Not Raine.

"Raine. Please come back. Misses Raine?  It's your turn?"

"Coming!"

I gathered my purse and ran into the cold room. I laid down on the bed and braced myself as the nurse came close to me. She took hold of my hand and smiled.

"Miss Raine. Are you sure. Are you absolutely sure? I want to ask now before I call the Doctor in."

"I... I honestly don't know."

"What's the problem?"

"I'm a mother of five. My third son has recently passed. I'm afraid of having this baby."

"I understand. But between me and you, maybe this was his way of being reborn again."

"Reborn?"

"Yes. So are you ready?"

"No. I want to have my baby. Thank you so much!"

I ran out of the clinic to my car, and quickly drove home. Sky was napping on the couch when I came in. I poked him and placed the digital pregnancy test on his lap. He read it and smiled.

"Well Raine. Looks like we'll be having another beautiful baby. Where did you run off to earlier?"

"Sky, I was going to abort it. I'm so sorry. I didn't. By the grace of God I didn't. But I almost did. I am so, so sorry. Please don't hate me."

"Baby, it's okay. You were only doing what you thought was right. I can't be mad. I came only be happy because you did what was best. Thank you for keeping the baby. Thank you so much. I love you."

"I love you too."

"What if it's finally a girl?"

"Has to be a nature name. Like Daffodil. Or Rose. Or maybe at this rate, Winter."

"Perfect!"

"If it's a boy we came name him Solace?"

"I don't care. All I'll care about is that we're one big happy family."

"That's my girl. What about your parents and Esther? Should we tell them you're expecting?"

"Call my mother now I guess."

"Hold on."

....

....

....

"Laylee? Kevin? Is that you?"

"Yes it's us."

"Oh dear Heavens. How are you two? How are the boys?"

"We're all amazing actually. And you all?"

"Well, we're hanging in there. Why so amazing?"

"Well. Raine here is with child. We wanted to call and immediately alert everyone. We'll inform everyone about the due date and everything."

"And as Violet, I'd like Esther and my daughters to come to the baby shower. Think you can make that happen?"

"One moment. Girls. Violet is on the phone. She's having a baby. Would you like to go to her baby shower?"

"Yes!"

"Oh daddy can we?"

"Yes. If that is what Violet desires."

"Great. It'll be a reunion too then. We'll be in contact soon."

(Esther's POV)

Hearing she was with child broke my heart and flushed me with memories. Sweet memories. Watching her stomach grow inch by inch. The kicks. The mood swings. The cravings. Just Laylee. This woman. Who was so many beautifully dangerous women in one. How I loved her.

How I missed her.

How I longed for her touch.

How I dreamt of caressing her skin once more.

How I wish I could marry her all over again, go through all that pain again, just to re-experience the beauty.

The beauty of that woman who once was mine.