120 days of Summer

Day 9

  Today I felt like everything is wrong, like my whole body is going to explode with pain and sadness. I really like Austin but I couldn't let myself to get hurt or disappointed, I don't deserve it after all I've been through.
"Summer, I need to talk with you", Hannah told me behind the curtain of my bunk. "What?", "can I come in?", instead of answering I opened the curtain a little bit and let her to come in. "Yesterday I talked with Austin,he seemed very sad. What happened?",.my heart skipped a beat and for a moment I felt horrible for making him feeling this way. "We kissed for goodbye since then I was ignoring him", Hannah hugged me and it was a sign that she want to help. "The date was amazing even the kiss but I'm afraid to let him get into my heart. I'm afraid to get hurt...", " it doesn't mean that he will! He seems to be such amazing guy". At this point I started to cry and Hannah hugged me tighter. "Please don't do this to yourself, you deserve to be happy and I can feel that Austin is the right guy", "but if he'll do me the same as the last one?", "if it'll happen dump him and I'll be there, also Sky be there". Even though she had a point in her words I still was afraid and didn't want to take a chance, good love will find me in the right moment.

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Hannah's point of view:
I tried to make Summer feel better but she was so closed in herself ,just like me. I wish I could help the one who helped me, took me into her life when she didn't know me,decided to give me a job and make me feel happy at the worst point of my life. I'll talk with Vic,maybe he can help. My head wasn't the same since the kiss and all I could think about was him. I think that I was falling in love, with Vic,my first love.He wasn't my taste in man but he's so amazing, even though he was drunk when he kissed me he still asked if it was fine with me. I can't forget the moment when my favorite song hit the dance floor and he wanted to dance with me,he's hands holding me tight, like he never going to release me. It was the first time I felt safe in someone's hands.
Because Summer still was too terrified to meet Austin I had to be her secretary again, she only taxted me my missions. First, I need to bring PTV,OM&M and BMTH their schedule for today,the usual stuff-when they have a gig,interview, sign ups and the other shit. I've decided to go first to PTV'S bus and give them their schedule, God give me the strength to do this. Usually I'm not a religious but to this mission I needed something to believe in.
I knocked on the door, waiting to get a permission to enter the bus. The man who I was seeking for opened the door and looked at me with his amazing brown eyes. "Hey Hannah, good morning", he smiled and his nose ring shined in the summer sun. "We need to talk... ", "if it's about the kiss I agree with you", "it's not about the goddamned kiss! It's about Summer and Austin". He didn't looked surprised so I guess he already knew. "What about it? It's her fault to reject Austin", "if you think that she doesn't like him so you are fucked up like hell", " you always have to curse?", "yes,it's my reputation". He laughed at me and rolled his eyes. "We need to help me, I want to make them talk again,you just need to invite us to the party tonight", "how did you find about the party?", " I heard Mike talking about it". Vic laughed again, because he and every fannin this world knew that he was horrible in keeping secrets. "Fine.something else?", "yep,don't tell him that we're coming". He agreed at the end because he cared about Austin's feelings, even though he won't admit it.
"We still have to talk about the kiss", "I promise you that will happen sometimes", this time we laughed together and I was on my way to finish my morning mission.

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"please come with me to PTV'S party,its the only change to talk with Vic!", Hannah begged me. "I'm sure Austin will be there, so I'll give up this time". "No! He won't be there, I already asked them,OM&M are going to watch a movie and relax at some restaurant". I believed her,she has no reason to lie me.
"I want to color my hair. In turquoise. And have a haircut". Because she wanted to do so much changes in herself, I believed that she only want to impress Vic." Fine,let's do this", and a hour later I found myself with Hannah and Sky at the nearest barbershop.
When we came back to our bus we were with our new haircuts and Hannah with her new hair color. I decided to wear a simple black skinny jeans and my 'Suicide Silence' tee, I had no reason to be pretty. Hannah wore her usual clothes-skinny jeans and Vans with a 'Bring Me the Horizon' shirt she borrowed from me. And Sky,she isn't the 'usual' stuff girl. She wore an amazing purple dress,and more unusual, all atar shoes.
PTV's party was at some night club, where they already had ordered the drinks and you could drink every if you still were a minor. The night started really good,I had some drinks and I felt great,but I felt empty and the reason for it were blurr. "Can we talk? ", Austin's voice said behind me. My body filled with panic, I need an escape plan. "Please... it driving me crazy that you ignoring me". I had no place to ran,everywhere was people and I was not in the condition to go somewhere alone.
"Fine". We went to a quite corner and sat,no one speaks. We sat like this a while and finely he spoke. "I did something wrong? ", "no,you were amazing it's my fault. I can't trust people",and because I was drunk I told him everything. At first I could see that he was afraid to touch me,like I'm going to break at the slightest touch. "I really like you, I can't do this to the women I like". I kept my mouth shut, trying not to look at his face. "I want you,even if we know each other for short time,but we can get to know each other before making any decisions...", and with this words he pressed his lips to mine,just slight touch with so much meaning.
"Okay", "okay".