17 | Nathan Triska

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* TRIGGER WARNING*



I stare down at the freshly made Dominos pizza sitting on the table in front of me, the cheese was still bubbly hot. I smile grabbing my now third slice and putting it on the plate leaning back on the sofa to eat and enjoy my food.

I see Nathan out of the corner of my eye watching me in disgust. He's sitting on the opposite side of the sofa, covered in sweat from the gym.

"What?" I ask, a mouthful of pizza.

"Nothing, I just. I just think you sometimes eat too much and you never exercise so the amount of calories you are taking in is really bad for your body, not like you need it" he states, turning back to the tv.

I stare down at the slice in my hand before dropping it on the plate. It doesn't look delicious anymore it just looks like a lump of fat and calories in my hand. I feel disgusted with myself.

"I need the bathroom" I say, excusing myself and placing the plate on the coffee table.

I dash towards the bathroom, locking the door behind me, breathing heavy. I stand looking at myself in the mirror pinching all the fat that wrapped around my waist,thighs and arms.

I feel so ugly, fat and unhealthy. I'm re-running all of Nathan's words through my mind.

I have to get skinny because he won't love me anymore.




"stop picking at your food" Nathan laughs, watching as  I play with my pasta with a fork.

"I'm not that hungry" I lie, continuing to poke my food with my fork and ignoring the fact that my stomach was eating at itself from hunger.

"You're always hungry, what's wrong?"

"I told you I'm not hungry!" I snap, clattering the fork with the table top.

"Um... Ok?" He pulls the plate towards him and scrapes in into his plate.








I was getting ready to go to dinner with Nathan's friends. I wore a pair of night jeans, heels and a huge top from the men's section.

"Go change" Nathan says as you make your way down the stairs.

"No, I'm not going if I can't wear this" you order firmly.

"Ugh, fine." He relents.









"Hey Y/N you look great, have you lost weight?" Kayce hugged me, staring down at my body.

"Um.. Yeah I've lost a few pounds I think" I awkwardly laugh.

We are all sitting around the table chatting away when the food comes to the table. Everyone starts eating but I don't.

I keep poking at it with my fork, taking tiny pieces and pretending to eat it when Nathan looked over at me.

We finished dinner and head back to the car when Diego stopped Nathan and whispered something in his ear.

Nathan looked angry and sad by whatever Diego had said, before he walked back to the car. We drove home without a word.

Me and Nathan had decided to watch a movie, both snuggled up on the sofa with blankets.

Nathan was hardly saying a word since we got back, I didn't bother to ask why.

About 20 minutes into the movie He grabs the remote from my hands, pauses the movie and looks at me.

"Why?" I gave him a confused look "why wouldn't you tell me you stopped eating".

I hid my face, ashamed to look him in the eye, but he grabbed my face making me look at him.

Disappointment.

"How did you know?" I whisper, not sure how he found out "Diego told me".

We sat in silence looking at eat other, unable to speak.

"Why did you do it?" He asks, voice cracking as a tear rolls down his face.

I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb, resting my hand on his face "You told me I was fat, well you implied it".

His head shoots up staring at me in horror "baby I never meant it, you were perfect. You are, you're my babygirl how could I do that" he sounds angry at himself.

"Nathan it's ok" I reassure but he shakes his head "No it's not. I done this to you and I'm so sorry baby" he's almost in tears and so am I.

"Nathan, baby I love you and it's ok. We all make mistakes" I say.

Without a word he stands up, lifting me up and putting me over his shoulder he carries me to our bedroom and places me In front of our body length mirror.

He slowly lifts up my shirt to reveal a somewhat toned average body shape. He starts touching all parts of my body.

"Perfect"

"Beautiful"

"Sexy"

I smile at the comments he makes before kissing my cheek " I love all of you baby".

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