Michael Cliffords Rebel Sister

8: why? /kyle^

April

I woke up to my phone ringing. I picked it up and saw it was blaze.

"Hey" I yawned
"Hey listen don't look on any social media" Blaze rushed.
"Why? Is everything okay?" I cautiously ask.

I get no reply.
So my curiosity getting the better of me I go on instagram.
The first post that pops up sends tears to my eyes as I drop my phone full on sobbing.

Instagram was flooded with pictures of kyle. He he was found dead in his bedroom two days ago. My boyfriend is dead. We've been together for 2 years and he's dead.

Then it hit me. The other night we were skyping. He said he needed to tell me something but mikey was throwing flour at me since we were making pizza.

I asked what he wanted to say but he said it didn't matter.

More posts say he was suicidal and finally ended it all. It I can't help the shower of guilt wash over my tear stained face.

Kyle was gone.
And I could have saved him.

I jumped off my bunk looking in the bathroom for a razor. But there weren't any.
I sat on the floor as silent tears escaped my eyes. I got up and walked to mikeys bunk.

I lightly giggled him and saw his head pop up.
"Hey, April what's wrong?" He yawned.

"K-Kyle he's d-dead" I sob louder.
"What how?" Mikey jumps up.

"It's it's all my fault. I-I could have saved him." I mumbled.

"Hey hey hey. Nothing is your fault. What happened?" Mikey repeats.

"He k-killed him self. A-And he tried to tell me but we were doing the pizza thing and I-I ignored him." I sobbed into my brother.

"I I thought he was okay" I sobbed louder.

That night I couldn't sleep. So I walked off the bus and sat outside in the cold moonlit night. I took slow breaths suddenly they started to speed up.

I was having a panic attack.
I calmed my breathing just enough to know I needed a blade. I rummaged through the bathroom but found nothing.

I walked out the door and found a small corner store. I picked up some cheap blades and quickly walked to the cashier.

I payed for the blades and walked to the bus.

If you're wondering. No I didn't cut that night. It's just something about knowing i have them that comforts me. It's stupid but it's true.