First Faith

Chapter 27: Vulnerability

"Two years ago, while I was traveling, I got a phone call," Roric took a deep breath, "My parents were killed on an airplane flying to Kalos for a mission trip."

I let that sink in. Both of his parents, gone.

"I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't function, knowing they were dead. And I had to get over that because I had to take care of my sister. I had to suck it up and learn how to be a parent, which was hard because I learned that I'd been a crappy brother for not being there for her all those years." He said it solemnly, with that sadness that never seems to go away when people talked about the past, "So I gave it my best. I stopped my journey and gave up on training so I could take care of Demi. But, through that... I gave up on God too.

"I was mad. I mean, really, my parents were flying all the way to Kalos for Him, and then they get killed? If He can do anything, and He's good, then why did that happen?" His eyes bored into me, as if he was expecting my personal answer. An answer I didn't have, "So I gave up on Him. Didn't talk to Him, didn't go to church, ignored everyone in my church family who called. It was hard too, because those people are saps who wanted to give me free handouts every day, meals they'd cooked themselves. You know what I mean?"

I numbly remembered the times Uncle Ben had brought me to church, memories I'd blocked out. I had been too shy to notice if people had been nice or not. I couldn't imagine him picking a church that wasn't anything less than what Roric was explaining. Full of saps.

"So I ended up working while Demi went to school, trying to pay bills. My parents hadn't really saved up much money. They were all about letting God provide, which was frustrating after they died because I didn't see Him providing as I worked full time and took care of my sister. Plus I gave up everything I wanted, all my training, all my dreams. It didn't feel very generous of Him."

But people wanted to help. I thought, remembering the free handouts he'd mentioned, but realized I was exactly like him. I refused to let people help. Help was there, but I ignored it and pretended it wasn't to the point where I lied and blamed others for my misery.

"And to make it worse, my sister started complaining about headaches." He shook his head, "Because after losing my parents and having this precious little sister, a sister who was so like my mom, come tell me something was wrong, it made me worry. What if she died too? Sure, I complained about taking care of her, how hard it was, but that didn't mean I didn't want her. I couldn't ever give up my sister.

"But then we found out she was an aura reader." Roric nodded to me, "She's told you a bit about that, I know. But I don't think she told you that we had to travel across Sinnoh to find aura experts to help teach her."

"How'd you manage that?"

"She became a Pokemon Trainer when she was seven to dismiss her from school. The teachers had already advanced her as much as possible, so she wasn't really missing anything. Demi is the smartest little girl I've ever seen." Roric said in admiration, "Anyway, we found the aura readers and they trained Demi to control her mind."

There was silence as we weaved through some particularly close together trees. I felt like he was going to continue, fill in the gaps, but he didn't, "But how are you Christian now?"

Roric frowned momentarily, "I don't think anyone God claims ever stops being God's child. I did stop following Him though, if that's what you mean. Which is what being Christian is supposed to mean. Being a 'little Christ'. But what good is a title anyway, when Christians look so different from each other? Some Christians are crueler than people who don't believe in God, or people who believe in other gods. They give Jesus a bad name. I was one of those people, so really, I don't have anything against them, but want them to change nonetheless."