First Faith

Chapter 19: Meeting

(Psst. This story now has two POV's. So don't get confused. They're marked in bold. If a chapter starts without one, it's Paul speaking.)

Chapter 19: Meeting

Electivire

The forest was so different than I remembered. When I had first hatched, it had been a place of safety, or belonging as my parents raised me. But then, we got separated and it became a nightmare. I had to fend for myself against Pokemon that were stronger than me. It was a place of hurt, of fear. And then Paul captured me, and the forest became a place of training. A kind of solitude, but still one of fear as I wondered if Paul would be in a good or bad mood while training if I made a mistake.

After training with Reggie, when Paul had accepted me back on his team, the forest was just a place we spent all of our time. I didn't feel connected to it. I didn't really feel anything. I just wanted to prove myself. And I was finally able to give Paul what he wanted- or at least that was what I thought until the Sinnoh League.

I'd been ready. I knew I'd battle Infernape. I had been prepared to win, no matter what. I hadn't been afraid, like I'd been afraid of the Primeape during the Johto League. And yet, even with my fear gone, even with all my training, even with my confidence, I had still lost. I had let down myself more than I possibly could imagine and had expected the worst from Paul. To be released, to go back to Reggie and never be on his team again. Or, at the very least, to be punished severely all day, every day, until I could prove to be better than Infernape.

But none of those things had happened.

Paul had merely moved on, not seeming upset by the loss. We trained as usual. Not really being pushed as much as normal. He seemed nicer with his actions.

I hated it. What had happened to the Trainer that had forced me to change myself, to change everything about me and throw out all the things I had loved about myself? Even the traits my parents had praised were destroyed. I'd done all of this for a Trainer who was changing himself to be weak like I had been. Not punishing himself for it like he'd punished me.

I trained, as usual. I went about trying to get stronger. I kept my thoughts to myself. Even when we came back Hoenn, when it was obvious that Dawn was changing him even more. After hearing so many speeches about how getting attached to people and Pokemon was bad, that it messed up concentration during battles. And here he was, ignoring all of that.

Falling in love.

I felt electricity spark around me just thinking about it. And now, here I was in the forest alone. Fully evolved. By myself, knowing that if anything messed with me, I would defend myself. I was now stronger than all the Mankey combined, stronger than Primeape, and ready to prove myself.

But the forest wasn't meant for such battling. I knew that. I didn't want to prey on Pokemon that were so like myself as an Elekid. The forest was a lonely place, a place where I couldn't grow, where I didn't want anything. There wasn't anything for me to do but think, to eat when I was hungry, and to avoid everyone at all costs because I didn't want to be bothered.

Another wave of anger went through me. Sure, Paul had wanted to give me time to think, but it felt like he was releasing me. I didn't care if I'd left on my own accord. It was still abandonment, even if I didn't want to be anywhere near him.

I still couldn't believe I'd been so ready to hurt him...

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of how good it felt to cause him pain for once. That wasn't me.