Thank You California.

But Give Me One More Chance

*Colleen's pov*
It's over. I can't go over to his house and surprise him. I can't kiss him in the library anymore. I can't grab his hand in the school yard. I can't hug him in the hall ways. He won't hold me close to him when we're trying to fall asleep in the same bed anymore. I'm going to have to go through this alone. All alone. I know that I'm the one who broke up with him but I knew he'd do it at some point. We've made it so far in our relationship for nothing. Now I'm going to have his baby by myself. I shouldn't have broken up with him but I was saving myself before he was gonna break up with me. It's only Saturday and my parents are gone fishing until tomorrow. I need a girl night tonight but I don't know who to call. Mia hasn't talked to me in weeks. I miss her but she didn't want anything to do with me. I don't know what to do now. It's no use anymore but I decide to write in the journal.

Dear Joshua,
I broke things off again with us because I knew you'd eventually leave me. The pregnancy would have been to much for you and you would have given up on us. I miss you more than ever, but I can't be with you. I don't want you to get in trouble for one. I don't want people to know I am having your baby and then you get locked up. And I also didn't want to get hurt by you when I needed you the most. I didn't need you too leave as I am giving birth. I'm sorry. I'll always love you Joshua. but it's not like I'm gonna live anyways.

2 hours later

I've been crying for the past two hours reading Josh and i's old text messages to each other. The little things like, "I love you" or "I need a hug from you." or even "come over and kiss me." those little messages meant so much to me because I knew he meant it. I get interrupted when I get a call from Mia. At first I am confused but I still answer. "Hello?" I ask "Colleen? Are you okay?" Mia asks sounding concerned. I pause before answering. "no" I say and my voice is cracking. I feel tears start to trickle down my cheeks. "I'll be there in ten." she hangs up. Ten minutes later I hear a knock at my door. I rush down the stairs and open my door. She sees me, looks at my belly then my tear stained face. She opens her arms and I fall into them and start crying all over again. After I calm down a bit we sit down on my sofa and I tell her everything. She decides to stay the night but I ask her to not ask any questions until I'm ready to talk.
By the end of the night she knows every detail and I answered every one of her questions. "I thought you didn't want to know anything anymore." I finally ask her. "I didn't. but I felt that something was wrong and you've been in my head all day so when I called you and you said you weren't okay I rushed over here." she says. "and yes I know you're still pissed off at me. But give me one more chance."

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haha! you thought the title was either Josh talking to Colleen or Colleen taking to Josh didn't you?

do y'all like hate me now or something?