Modest Secrets - Larry Stylinson AU {Editing}

Chapter 37 - Broken, this fragile thing now

Broken, this fragile thing now 

Liam ran into the bathroom, he slammed the cubicle door open and began to throw up into the porcelain toilet. He was sweating and shaking, finding out Jennifer was in hospital had thrown him over the edge. He began to cry, was this all his fault? Did she try to hurt herself because of him?

Liam closed his eyes as he panted, he leant his head against his arm on the toilet seat listening to the pounding of his heart. The door of the bathroom opened and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter, hoping he would be left alone. Liam was in so much pain, seeing the look in Harry’s eyes.

The way Niall looked straight through him and Zayn just ignored him completely. Liam knew it wouldn’t be long before they all knew what he had done. It was all a mistake, he repeated the mantra over and over in his head. Tears streamed down his face as he vomited again, coughing he wiped his mouth and sat up.

Pulling strands of toilet paper he dabbed his face and wiped his mouth, he tried calling Jennifer, over and over again but she didn’t answer. How badly was she injured? He wanted to tell himself it was an accident but the last time he saw her she was on her knee’s begging him not to leave.

Her words as she cried echoed like a haunting memory in his mind, ‘you’re all I have.’ 

“Liam?” Zayn’s voice filled the bathroom, it was full of hesitation. 

Liam said nothing, he just buried his face in his hands. 

“Liam, it’s me,” Zayn whispered. 

Liam peeked through his hands and saw Zayn’s shoes at the door. “Go away,” he mumbled. “I don’t need anyone else to fucking yell at me today. I can’t handle it,” Liam sobbed. 

“Liam, let me in. I’m not here to yell at you,” Zayn sounded sad. 

“Bullshit,” Liam hissed, he stood up and opened the door. Zayn had his hands on his head and his tanned face was riddled with concern. Zayn stepped towards him but Liam stepped back, “I know, I fucked up. You don’t need to keep punishing me.”

Zayn shook his head, “No. Liam, I can’t keep fighting with you. I can’t watch you look like this anymore.”

“Like what?”

Zayn sighed, “Man, I have never seen you look so broken.”

Liam felt the tears roll down his face, “She played me.”

Zayn’s eyes widened, “What do you mean?”

The door opened and two guys walked in, Liam wiped his face and headed for the door, “Not here.”

They were in the smoking area, the wind pounded against the tree’s and dark clouds hung in the sky above rendering the whole world shadowed and dull. Liam sat down in the long bench and put on a pair of sunglasses to hide his tears.

Zayn sat next to him and lit up a cigarette. “What’s going on Liam? I saw you last night in the hallway and I, I’ve never seen that look on your face.”

“It was all a game,” Liam whispered. 

“What was?”

“Jennifer, she was playing me to get on Dakota’s side. She set me up and I fucking fell for it,” Liam stood up and began kicking the scattered leaves on the concrete. 

“I…” Zayn was at a loss for words. 

“Yeah, all of this was just me fucking up and ruining my relationship with you. For what?” He looked at Zayn.