Modest Secrets - Larry Stylinson AU {Editing}

Chapter 30 - Relapse

Relapse

Jennifer let Harry into the room and lied, she said she had a phone call to take but she didn’t. The truth was; she was struggling to keep it together. As she shut the door she leant against the cold wood, hiding behind her damp hair she felt the tears stream effortlessly down her tired face. She couldn’t stay in there, she caught a glimpse of Liam’s back to the window, he didn’t turn around to look at her. Jennifer saw the way he tensed when he heard her voice and the pang of hurt that rippled through her was enough to send her scurrying for the exit.

She didn’t dare meet Zayn’s eyes, not after what he’d walked in on. She stared through tears down at her phone, wishing Liam would call, she knew he wouldn’t. When she was in Niall’s room Liam said nothing, in fact she hadn’t had the chance to speak to him since Zayn walked in on them, well, fornicating in Liam’s steamy shower. She had tried to follow Liam, begged him to see reason but he was so devastated.

The guilt washed over her in sickening waves, the look on Liam’s face when he met Zayn’s eyes was enough to render her a sobbing mess at the bottom of the shower. It was in that moment, she now realised, that Jennifer knew Liam was more then a game. He wasn’t that challenged to help her get what she wanted, progress in her career.

She didn’t care about her job anymore, she didn’t care about helping Dakota with her wicked plans, all she cared about was Liam. She hated feeling so exposed and emotional, Jennifer made it a point to avoid all emotions because when things went wrong they hurt too much to deal with.

Liam had stolen her heart and Jennifer wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to get it back, or if she wanted to. The anxiety of telling him the truth weighed so heavily on her mind that she hadn’t eaten or slept in days. Black circles surrounded her hazel eyes and her clothes were slowly beginning to loosen on her already small frame. 

She could hear shouting through the door and was hesitant to run in there and wrap Liam in her small arms. Jennifer couldn’t stand it, stand another second of seeing the way his former bandmates looked at him like a stranger. She couldn’t stand the way they shouted accusations at him and blamed him for so much that was out of his control.

It was her fault, all her fault.

She buried her face in her hands and listened as they continued to shout.

A staff member walked by and paused to look at her, he looked down at her through his bright green eyes and smiled. Freckles were scattered across his wide face and he asked if she was okay. She nodded and then slowly stood up. 

“Stop blaming me for everything!” Liam shouted and Jennifer let out a small sob.

She picked up her bag and began down the corridor for her room. Her phone began to ring, it was Dakota’s therapist and she ignored it. Jennifer knew she couldn’t hide much longer, the boys would talk about the photos. They were more intelligent then management gave them credit for. They would soon realise those photos were authorised to leak, then the questions would begin. She slipped into her room and dropped her bag onto the floor, a hollow noise filled the empty room. Switching on the light she rubbed her eyes willing the tears to stop, they didn’t. 

She rang Dakota and sat down on one of the ornate chairs in the living room, there was a half empty bottle of warm beer on the table. Probably Liam’s, she picked it up and drank from it as she listened to the phone ring. 

“Pick up, pick up,” she tapped her foot anxiously. 

“What?” Dakota snapped. 

“Da- Dakota are you okay?” Jennifer asked in a rush. 

She sighed, “Oh god not you too, Jen, you know if I wanted to talk about ‘it’ I would.”