Modest Secrets - Larry Stylinson AU {Editing}

Chapter 16 - Heavy In Your Arms

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A/N It's a bit cheesy. You'll get over it. Big love to all my readers.
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Heavy In Your Arms

Harry stepped into the corridor and shuddered, it was cold and his tired body ached from head to toe. He followed in silence as the doctor opened the door slowly to let him in, she turned to him. “I don’t want you to panic when you see him, he’ll look different but try to stay positive. We’re doing the best we can.” She promised as she let him in and shut the door behind him. A gaggle of reporters rushed her in the corridor and he heard her swear as she began calling for security. Harry turned to the room and it was quiet and dark. The only sounds that filled the large room were the mechanisms of the breathing machine as it rhythmically pumped up and down. Tears rolled down his face when he saw Louis lying on the bed, his hands were at his sides and his chest rose and fell artificially, with the machine.

A faint glow from the bedside table illuminated his face and it was gaunt, pale. Harry had never seen Louis look so small and fragile. Louis was the shortest but the way he beamed at them, bounced around and carried himself always made him seem so big, larger then life. Now, now, he looked so delicate; as if made from glass and Harry was hesitant to touch him. As he inched closer to the bed flashes of Louis, lifeless on the bathroom floor assaulted his vision and he whimpered. On shaking legs Harry carefully walked closer to the bed, at first he was going to sit on the chair positioned next to the bed but he felt an overwhelming urge to be close to Louis.

The words ‘critical’ and ‘fatal’ waded through his mind and tears shone on his cheeks as he reached out and grasped Louis small hand within his own. Louis felt cold, Harry squeezed his fingers hoping his touch alone would rouse Louis from his slumber.  An IV was inserted into a vein in his hand and Harry’s eyes followed the drip all the way to the fluid bag hanging above the bed.  

“Oh Louis,” he whispered kissing his hand. “What have you done?”

Harry closed his eyes and pressed his face to Louis hand, he stroked his fingers softly and listened to the whir of the machines that echoed through the room. 

“I can’t lose you Louis, I promised we’d have forever and now I’m…” he paused, looking up into Louis still face, wishing those beautiful blue eyes would meet his once more. Taking deep breaths he stilled himself before continuing, talking to Louis seemed to be helping him on some unconscious level. “I’m so scared Lou,” he whispered. 

Activity buzzed beyond the door but the room was still, quiet. Harry couldn’t help but laugh, all he and Louis wanted was to be together in peace but somehow the fates had been cruel and delivered them that peace in way neither of them had wished for. 

Harry trailed his fingers along Louis tattoo’s, they were a secret puzzle that matched with his own sleeve, each of them telling the story of their love that was not able to be made public. Looking at it now, everything seemed so trivial, the fame, the money everything meant nothing without Louis standing beside him. Harry felt calmer with Louis but it was lonely looking down at him so still in the bed. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and Louis had never looked so weary. Harry climbed up onto the bed and positioned himself against Louis’ still form. He kissed Louis neck and traced his fingers along the exposed tattoo on his bare chest reading, ‘it is what it is.’

Harry’s wet body was wedged against Louis and he looked into his face, studying his hard jawline and the stubble on his chin. He brushed Louis’ soft hair from his eyes and began to sing softly to him. It was an eerie sound echoing through the room, Harry’s soft whispers of a love he would never give up and the promises that he made Louis in the silence.