Hetalia one-shots

Twice the size (RusAme)

"Privyet, Fredka." Ivan Braginsky said slyly to his frienemy one day. "I was doing the browsing on your interwebs--"

"Dude, please." Alfred put up his hands in anguish. "Your English is painful."

"No no, you will be wanting to hear what I say." The man continued. "So there I am, on your computer..."

"Yeah, so exciting." Alfred froze. "Wait, like my computer? My actual personal computer?! Dude! Not cool!"

Ivan waved a hand. "Not important. But I was googling and I saw something interesting." He paused to watch his reaction. "I read that Russians are almost twice the size as Americans."

He held his hands a good distance apart and his smirk got bigger. Alfred flushed and looked away.

"Gross. That's like such a mega lie." He scoffed. "I'm like at least the same size as you if not bigger, pfft."

Ivan hummed -- wow, that was so not likely -- and dropped his hands. "You can prove it, yes?"

Alfred paused, blush growing. "Dude. Gross. No. Not into you, stupid commie."

Ivan just shook his head as the other man speed-walked away, still with that cute little blush. Honestly he didn't care what size he was. And he'd come around one day... When he saw the offer was serious.