Hetalia one-shots

Antonio's ass (Spain and America)

Antonio was relaxing on his couch one day, reading a book while letting his turtles crawl around him. The idea of a perfect day. But suddenly with a mysterious knock on the door, it was interrupted!

Toni shrugged and got up to answer it.

Alfred F. Jones was kneeling on his doorstep, presenting an outstretched hamburger. Toni's jaw dropped.

"Accept this greeting, oh divine one!"

I thought it was Ludwig Beilshmidt everyone worshipped, Toni thought absentmindedly.

"Uh... Alfred?" He asked slowly, not sure if he was seeing this correctly. "What are you doing?"

Alfred looked up, grinning. "The lord has spoken!"

Toni frowned. "I'm confused..."

Alfred bowed again. "Oh great one, tell me your secret to getting a great booty!"

Toni vaguely heard something move upstairs. Better not let Lovino hear Alfred... "Alfred, what are you talking about."

"You have to have a secret, King among men!"

"A secret?" He repeated.

Alfred sighed and straightened up. "You, sir, have an amazing ass."

"I know I do." Toni nodded smartly. It was legend.

"So how did you get it so hot?!"

"Oh! That's easy!" Toni smiled warmly. "I just bathe in the blood of the enemies of Spain! You do that, and you'll have a behind like mine in no time, Al!" He clapped him on the shoulder.

"Wait... What the fuck..?!"