Troubles Of A Typical Teen

What Happens If You Have Teens As Witnesses

1. Attorney : What was the first thing your boyfriend said to you in the morning?
Witness : He said, "Where am I, Patty?"
Attorney : And why did that upset you?
Witness : My name is Kate!

2. Attorney : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Witness : Gucci shorts and top and Chanel heels.

3. Attorney : Are you sexually active?
Witness : *eyeroll* No, I just lie there.

4. Attorney : What's your date of birth?
Witness : June 8th.
Attorney : What year?
Witness : Every year.

5. Attorney : How old is your brother, the one living with you?
Witness : 20 or 21 I guess.
Attorney : And how long has he been living with you?
Witness : 18 years and still counting.

6. Attorney : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
Witness : Yes.
Attorney : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
Witness : I forget.
Attorney : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Witness : - _ - 💢

7. Attorney : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Witness : Dude, did you actually pass the bar exam?

8. Attorney : The youngest brother, the 3-year old, how old is he?
Witness : He's 3, just like your IQ.

9. Attorney : Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness : Are you fucking kidding me right now? 0 _ 0💢

10. Attorney : So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
Witness : Yes.
Attorney : And what were you doing at that time?
Witness : Getting laid, bitch.

11. Attorney : She had three children, right?
Witness : Yup.
Attorney : Were there any boys?
Witness : No.
Attorney : Were there any girls?
Witness : Eh?
Attorney : Were there any girls?
Witness : Your Honor, I totes need a new attorney. Can I please get another one?

12. Attorney : How was your first relationship terminated?
Witness : By death.
Attorney : And by whose death was it terminated?
Witness : *eyeroll* Take a guess.

13. Attorney : Can you describe the individual?
Witness : He was of medium height and had a beard.
Attorney : Was this a male or a female?
Witness : *blank stare* Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

14. Attorney : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
Witness : No, this is how I dress when I go to work at McDonald's. - _ -💢

15. Attorney : *to medical student* How many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
MS : All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

16. Attorney : All your responses MUST be oral, okay? So, what school do you go to?
Witness : Oral...?

17. Attorney : Are you qualified to give an urine sample?
Witness : Are you qualified to ask that question? - _ -💢

18. Attorney : Do you recall the time the autopsy started?
Witness : Around 8:30 pm, I guess.
Attorney : And Mr Denton was dead at the time?
Witness : If not, he was by the time Doc finished. - _ -💢

19. Attorney : *to teen interning for Doc" Before the autopsy, did the doc check for a pulse?
Witness : No.
Attorney : Did he check for blood pressure?
Witness : No.
Attorney : Did he check for breathing?
Witness : No.
Attorney : So, is it possible that the patient was alive when he began the autopsy?
Witness : No.
Attorney : How can you be so sure?
Witness : His brain was sitting on my temporary desk in a glass jar. - _ -
Attorney : I see, but could the patient still have been alive, nevertheless?
Witness : Aye Sir, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law. - _ - 💢

Was the attorney betting on the patient being alive or what?

Moral of the story :  Never challenge a teen's intelligence. 😂😂 If they aren't book-smart, then they are definitely street-smart.

Enjoy!