Shawn Mendes Imagines

Regrets (pt. 2) ✔️

SHAWN'S POV:

My eyes fluttered open, the dim wallpaper being the only thing to greet me. I remember waking up to Y/N, I remember kissing her full lips, beautiful features visible because of the golden streams of light coming from a gap in the curtains. A groan rumbled past my dry lips and I shut my eyes tightly again, not wanting to face the day without her.

Reluctantly, I swung my legs out of bed, shivering as the cold hit my bare arms. I was still wearing the same jeans and t-shirt from last night, feeling a little gross if I'm honest. I forced myself up and trudged across the wooden floorboards into the living room.

Ellie was seated on the sofa, toast in hand. She was silently watching TV. I ignored her presence, hoping to leave without a conversation. But she wouldn't have that.

"Shawn?"

I froze in mid-step, sighing lightly and turning around. "Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

I frowned at her. "Home."

"This is your home."

What?

"Um, no it isn't. It never has been."

"I'm sorry but we're in a relationship. This is my home, so of course it's yours too."

I'm even more confused. I thought we broke up last night. Apparently not. "Ellie, we broke up last night."

"What?" She stood up, setting her breakfast on the glass coffee table, glaring. Oh shit. "I thought it was an argument. You slept on it. Now we're fine."

"Um, no. I thought we broke up." I look down, grabbing my shoes.

"And you're okay with that?"

"Yes?" I put on my boots. "You were the one that told me to leave."

"I didn't mean it, I was angry."

"Well, I want to go back to her. I want Y/N back."

"How do you know she'll want you?"

I zipped up my boot angrily, inhaling deeply. I knew she may not want me back, but hearing it said aloud made it too real and I didn't like it. "You know nothing about her."

"Oh, come on. You dumped her after five years for someone you've known for a few months. She probably feels like shit under your shoe, Shawn. She won't want you back."

I closed my eyes momentarily, trying to hold onto any calm I had in me. "That's none of your business."

"Fine, you don't want me anymore? I bet when you're back with her and things go to shit again you'll come running back to me to satisfy your needs."

I scoffed. "Oh please. You were a distraction. And a huge mistake." I finished.

"Then why did you leave her for me? You loved me Shawn, and whatever kind of mistake it is, you love me still."

"I don't love you, damn it." I zipped up my other boot stormed to the front door, yanking it open. "Get over it."

"I hate you Shawn ." She growled and slammed the door behind me. I breathed out and slowly walked to the lift, trying to plan what I was going to say to Y/N. Ellie's words stuck in my head. What if she didn't want me back? I don't think I could live with that.

I decided to give her time, since it was only nine in the morning. I couldn't go back to the apartment yet so I bought new clothes and changed in a stall. I needed to brush my teeth though and felt stupid for leaving Ellie's place without doing so. I had a toothbrush there, though I was ashamed to admit it. After realizing I left my broken phone at Ellie's too, I groaned and headed to the Apple store, buying a new one and dialing Ian's number since I knew it by heart. I sit behind the wheel as I wait for him to answer after repeatedly calling for about five minutes with no response.