Daughter of a Winchester

19

He was still asleep in bed. She didn't want to wake him but she was upset and already couldn't avoid the tears. She gently shook him and he woke up. He sat up quickly upon seeing her tears.

"What's wrong? Why are you upset?" He asked. He was growing concerned.

"Can I talk to you about part of what happened?" She asked.

"Of course. You know I'm here to help and be here for you." He shifted so his legs were hanging over the side of the bed and she joined, sitting next to him.

"How do you, um, get over killing someone? I know it was what needed to be done, but I killed him, Dean. I killed a man and didn't give it a second thought. I wanted revenge and was so fueled by it, but I didn't like the feeling of killing him. I didn't like it at all." She explained as she cried harder. "Sam doesn't know what to say since he wasn't awake for it and he knows it was super personal this time. We both figured I'd come talk to you and maybe you'd know what to say."

"First, relax. I know it's hard. Just take a deep breath." She did as he said. She relaxed slightly. "Avery, it's a good thing you didn't like it. It's hard and they seem so human. There's times I question it too. You did the right thing. He wasn't human. I can't say I know how to get over it. I guess you never really do. You just kind of cope. I'm sure it doesn't matter to you, but I'm proud of you for doing it and everything despite it being uncomfortable. Not because it's good to kill but because you put emotions aside to do what's needed to be done. You saved Sam and I and that's something to be proud of. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear but it's all I've got." Dean told her gently.

"Ok. I guess I've got a lot of things to cope with." She stated with a sigh.

"I know it's hard. I know you've got a lot on your mind. Just try not to beat yourself up too much. And thanks for saving my life by the way." He added.

"I'll try. And of course, Dean. I'm not losing you. Ever." He nodded, gave her a hug, and she went back to Sam.

Sam was asleep once again in bed. He looked really hot again. She got the washcloth damp again and tried to cool him down. She climbed in bed after he seemed cooler and laid next to him. She gently stroked the hair out of his face and wrapped her arm around him. She fell asleep and woke to Sam looking at her with a sleepy smile.

"Hey babe. I didn't hear you come back from talking to Dean. How'd it go?" He asked.

"Guess I've got a lot to learn to cope with." She stated sadly.

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm right here if you need anything." He consoled. She nodded.

"I'm gonna go see how the kids and Bobby are doing." Sam nodded and she left the room. "Hey Bobby." She stated once she got downstairs.

"Hey. How's everyone doing?" He asked.

"They're ok. Really tired but ok. The doctor drugged some water they drank so their bodies are fighting it right now."

"How are you? You seem to be doing better." He added.

"Not great. Trying to cope with a lot of stuff and just a lot to think about." She replied.

"Oh. Well hang in there. It'll get better. Do you want anything? I've got some beer and other stuff around."

"I'm ok. Thanks. Where are the kiddos?" She asked.

"Playing out back. I'm keeping an eye on them." Bobby told her. She went outside and the kids ran up to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"Hey guys."

"Hey. How are they doing?" Tristan asked.

"Yeah. How's dad?" Audrey added.

"They're ok. They're tired, but pretty much ok." She told them sincerely.