You Can't Love Me

26. Old ways

"Everyone is always hungover on Sundays." Natalie sat on the edge of my bed and shakes her head at the pitiful body that is me.

Seriously, who the fuck let me get that drunk?!

"Shit." Was all I grumbled into the pillow.

I couldn't take my face out of the pillow because if I did, the sunlight would probably make me feel like someone hit me with a baseball bat.

I hear Nat giggle. "Here, I have some aspirin." She shakes the pill bottle in her hand, taunting me.

"I don't wanna get up!" I groan and roll onto my back, mashing the pillow against my face.

"I know, but if you don't your boyfriend's gonna kill me and your parents are gonna kill you."

At the mention of Shane, I peak at her from under the pillow.

"Shane? Why would he be mad at you?" I blink hard at the little bit of light.

"Because he's the one who told me to make sure you have what you need in the morning, or else." She cringes at the threat.

"He is the one who brought you home. But," She paused, a thoughtful look covering her face. "He seemed really out of it."

"What do you mean?" I asked and lifted the pillow all the way off, regretting it as soon as I did.

I wanted to scream. The room was much brighter than I thought. My eyes felt heavy and there was a terrible throbbing behind them. Like that feeling when you get poked in the eye really hard.

Yeah, that's how my eyes were feeling.

I take a deep breath and sit up. My head spins and I feel my stomach flip.

For the third time that morning, I snatch myself up and run to the bathroom.

There shouldn't have been anything left for me to throw up after all that I did this morning.

Yet, there I was, bunched over the toilet. Hurling my guts out.

When I was done, I went to the sink to wash my face and brush my teeth.

I walk back into the room and grab the pill and glass of water from Natalie.

"He looked pissed about something." She started answering my question. "But when I asked if something was wrong, I could swear he made a face that someone makes when a relative dies or something."

My eyebrows pull together at that and I shut my eyes, waiting for the aspirin to work.

That isn't like him. He doesn't show he's hurt to people, because he didn't want anyone to try and comfort him. He said it felt wrong. So he did a good job at hiding how he feels.

He must have felt really bad if he let Nat see what he was feeling last night.

"I wonder what made him feel the way he did..." Natalie's voice blurs into the background as everything that happened last night comes back to me slowly.

"Oh my God." I groan and lean my forehead against the mattress.

"What? What is it?" Nat asked, worried.

"It's my damn fault." My eyes pool with tears as the words I said to him rang through my head.

"What's your fault?"

I wouldn't be surprised if he was out somewhere with his dumb friends getting drunk and ogling some random skank's ass.

"I'm the one who made him feel bad last night..." I sob quietly into the blanket.