The Life Of Trans Phan

A Winter Romance Pt.1

I want to tell you a story kids, about how I met your father. It was the winter of 2009, and I was short on cash...

I was walking through town, when I spotted an advertisement for a competition. They were offering £1000, and all you had to do was live in a wooden cabin, without any technology, with a complete stranger for one month! I figured it would be fun, and maybe I'd make a new friend while I was at it.

Then I got stuck with your father.

It's not that I thought he was a bad guy, quite the opposite actually. He was the nicest person I had ever met, and I hated it. I didn't think anybody should be that happy! It was just an annoying reminder of how unhappy I was. 

"Dan! We need to tidy the bedroom!" Phil called from the other room.

Oh yeah, that was another thing. There's only one bedroom in this place. And only one double bed. I don't know what the people in charge of this were thinking when they did that, I really don't. Was it meant to bring us closer? 

"Can't you just do it?" I asked, hoping he was in one of those moods. Sometimes he'd sing while cleaning the entire cabin, without asking me to do anything. The singing made me go mad, but it was better than getting up. The place was freezing, and so I didn't want to move from right in front of the fire.

"It's your mess!" He said, the door to the living room creaking open. I turned to look at him, pulling my sleeves over my hands. That was another thing that annoyed me about Phil - he only wore bright colours! It was like looking at the freaking sun!

"Yeah, but I can't be bothered. Plus you're already on your feet," I pointed out, trying to argue my way out of cleaning. Normally my mum just did that for me. I was too busy lying in my bed hating my life.

"How about you do it after dinner?" He compromised, smiling hopefully at me. That was yet another thing that bugged me. He never stopped smiling! Was there something wrong with his face or something?

"Fine mum," I rolled my eyes at him, shuffling back towards the fire, hoping he'd get the message. Conversation. Over.

"Come on Dan! It's snowing! Let's go play outside!" He insisted, the floor rattling as he jumped up and down. Reason number ten why I hate Phil; he always wants to 'play'! We're not five years old for Gods sake! We're almost adults! 

"Phil! I'm seventeen! I don't play!" I snapped at him. The rattling stopped. Great. Now he's upset.

"Okay," he said quietly, promptly leaving the room. He acted like a hurt puppy. We spent the next two days in complete silence and, even though he ended up cleaning the room all by himself, I still felt guilty. It made a change from the emptiness I normally felt. I wasn't sure if it was good though.

The next morning, a windy Saturday, I got up early to make breakfast. Phil normally cooked, so I thought he'd appreciate it. He had a huge smile on his face when I handed him his pile of pancakes, and after that things returned to normal. He bugged me, I shut him out - same old, same old. 

It wasn't until Wednesday, almost four days later, when I decided I was bored. Phil was sat reading one of the many books we had as entertainment here, but I hated reading, and there really wasn't much else to do. 

"Phil? Do you want to do something?" I piped up quietly, shuffling round to look at him. I was sat in my normal place in front of the fire, and Phil was directly behind me on the old, worn out arm chair.

"You want to do something?" He asked, clearly surprised as he put the book down and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah, I'm officially bored," I gave in, averting my eyes. He looked way too happy. 

"Well, we have to do something about that," Phil said, getting up from his chair and holding a hand out for me, "Come on, we're going outside!"

"What! No way! It's freezing enough in here! I'm not going outside," I argued, allowing Phil to pull me to my feet.

"It'll be fun! You'll forget about the cold in no time!" He insisted, leading me out of the cabin. We were both already wrapped up in coats and hats and gloves, so we slipped our boots on and he pulled me out into the cold.

"Phil! It's freezing!" I squealed, the snow hitting my face the moment the door shut. He laughed at me, pulling me down the stairs and onto the snow covered fields. We kept running, both squealing and laughing until we collapsed into the snow. I playfully punched Phil on the arm, forgetting in that moment how much he annoyed me. All my troubles seemingly melted away as we laughed in the snow.

Suddenly I felt something hit my arm, and then we were in a full out snowball fight. We built bases, ran around the field, and didn't stop laughing the entire time. It wasn't until it started getting dark that I thought about going back inside.

"Truce! Truce!" I yelled, walking out from behind my makeshift igloo base and walked closer to Phil', my hands in the air. He peeped out from behind his snow wall.

"Peace?" He asked, probably wondering if it was a trick. I repeated the word, dropping my arms to my side.

"Let's go back inside. It's dark and I want food," I grumbled, crossing my arms. He just laughed at me, but started heading back inside anyway.

"And by that you mean, you want me to make you food?" He asked, pushing the door open for me. I nodded in thanks as I passed into the warm hut, immediantly plopping down in front of the fire. A couple of minutes later I felt our duvet wrapped around my  shoulders and a mug of hot chocolate pressed into my hand.

"Thanks Phil," I mumbled, smiling up at him. He just shrugged, but I could hear him whistling as he walked into the kitchen.

After that night, we were a lot closer. The things that bugged me before made me smile now, and I stopped blocking him out. We went out and played a lot, but some nights he'd read his stupid books to me, or we'd play board games. It turned out that we had a lot more in common than I thought. I wouldn't find out just how much we had in common until the next day though.

It was our last week in the hut, when I saw him. He was just getting out of the shower, and as I passed him in the hallway, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. He had two scars on his chest that were identical to mine. I didn't say anything, but when he went outside to pick up the grocerys that they dropped off weekly, I snopped around his stuff. 

I found exactly what I was looking for; a packer and a box of tampons. He was transgender. Just like me.

When he cooked tea that night, I approched him in the kitchen. He had his apron on, singing and dancing round the kitchen.

"Um, Phil?" I asked, clearing my throat and trying not to laugh. He shot round to look at me with wide eyes and red cheeks.

"Ho how long have you been standing there?" he stuttered, making me laugh even more. 

"Long enough to see your amazing dance routine. You should apply for britains got talent," I told him, "but anyway, I need to talk to you about something."

"Look, it's your mess, you tid-"

"No, it's not that. I already cleaned up," I interupted him, "it's about the fact that your transgender."

His jaw dropped, and he froze, staring at me in horror. I smiled at him.

"Don't worry, I am too," I smiled, taking a step closer to him.

"You are?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah," I breathed out, stepping even closer to him.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his lips parting, his breath hitting my face.

"This," I mumbled, before capturing his lips in mine.

And I'll tell you something kids, that was the best winter of my life.