The Life Of Trans Phan

I thought you knew

Dan's POV

Keeping secrets from Phil isn't easy, but somehow I've managed to keep this from him for over five years.

I'm transgender.

I don't know how I've kept this from him, but for some reason, he never asked about the scars on my chest or the fact that I won't let him see what's underneath my boxers. He's been my boyfriend for two years now, yet he doesn't know who I really am. Today is our anniversary, and today I'm going to do it. I'm going to come out to Phil.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey Phil, I need to talk to you," I say, walking into the office where he's busy editing. I normally don't bother him when he's working, but I really have to tell him this.

"One sec Dan," He says, quickly typing something and saving his work. When he's done, Phil spins round in his chair and faces me. I'm a nervous wreck by this point, and he can see it, but luckily he doesn't comment on it, "So what's up?"

"Um, there, there's something really big I've been hiding from you for years and I need to tell you," I stutter, tears pooling in my eyes from the nerves. He beckons for me to sit on his lap and I move, hiding my head in his shoulder. His embrace instantly calms me and after a few deep breaths; I sit back and look at him.

"Look, Phil, I'm not exactly who you think I am," I say, stumbling over my words. He looks at me in concern.

"You know that nothing you say will affect how I feel about you right?" He whispers.

"This might," I reply, almost crying at the thought of Phil leaving me.

"I doubt it."

"Ok, well, you know the scars on my chest and the box in the bathroom that you're not allowed into?" I ask. He rolls his eyes at me and smiles.

"You mean the scars from your Top Surgery and the box that has your HRT in?" He asks. I'm so shocked at what he said that I almost fall off his lap.

"Wh, what?!" I ask, not believing what I just heard. How did he know?

"Wait; are you coming out right now?" He asks, his eyes wide.

"Well, I was going to!" I reply in disbelief.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know that you didn't know that I knew," He replied sheepishly.

"How did you know?" I ask, half relieved, half annoyed.

"Well you have Top Surgery scars and a box of HRT in the bathroom for starters," He says, "Plus you left your packer in my room once,"

"Then why didn't you say anything?!" I demand,

"I figured you just didn't want to talk about it!" He replies.

"Do you know how nervous I was to tell you?!" I exclaim, "And you already knew! For Gods sake!"

"I love you, Dan," He says, giggling at me.

"Love you too Phil."