The Life Of Trans Phan

Peter Pan Pt. 1

Dan Howell was alone, and he wasn't going to deny it. He had an alcoholic for a mum, a dad he'd never met and a severe lack of friends. It wasn't always like that of course, once upon a time he'd had a multitude of friends. Once he stopped being Daniella, and started being Dan though, he'd lost every single one of them. It wasn't fair, but this wasn't a fair world.

If you asked Dan, he'd tell you that he did have one friend. Every night he would climb onto the roof, and look up at the moon. The moon was his friend, his very best friend. He would it stories of every kind; fairy tales, spy stories, romance. He would tell the moon all his troubles, all his secrets. The roof was his special place, his place to be alone.

One night, when the moon was at it's peak, Dan clambered up onto the roof. He began his tale of Cinderella, only this time with pirates and zombies. He drew to an exciting finish, and went back to his bedroom. He swore he saw a shadow flying into the sky, but he rubbed his eyes and it was gone. It must have been his imagination.

The next night, he approached the roof with less excitement than the night before. It had been a hard day, filled with transphobic comments, dysphoria and violence. He now had seven new scars, and only three of them were made by his bullies. He began telling the stars about his day, about everything that had happened, and he was in tears before he knew it. Dan was sobbing, his arms wrapped around his knees as he tried to carry on with his tale. He needed to get it all out before facing reality.

"And then I came up here, and that's the end," Dan finished, his voice hoarse. He buried his face in his arms, his whole body racking as he continued crying. Then, he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," a soft whisper came from next to him, and as Dan looked up, he saw the most beautiful boy to ever exist. His hair was as black as the night sky, his eyes as blue as the ocean. He was like a star; beautiful, magical and absolutely incredible.

"Who, who are you?"Dan stuttered in wonder, wiping away the tears on his cheek.

"I'm Phil," he told me, squeezing my shoulder gently. He had the sweetest smile, and his eyes shone as he uttered his next words, "I promise that you'll never be lonely again Dan."

"Wh, what?" Dan didn't know what to say. How could he promise something like that?

"Come away with me. I'll take you to Neverland," he said with a grin. He stood up and held out his hand.

"Neverland, like the book?" Dan questioned, eyeing the boys hand warily. He wasn't going to run away with some random guy, no matter how gorgeous he was.

"No, not that Neverland," Phil rolled his eyes, "Unless you never want to grow up, then I'll call my brother."

"Your brother?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I'm Phil Lester, half-brother of Peter Pan," Phil announced, "but you don't want to stay young, do you Dan? You want to be accepted. You just want to be yourself and not have to worry about it."

"Yeah, how do you know that?" Dan stood up, wrapping his arms around himself as he shivered.

"You think you're talking to the moon, but you're not. You've been talking to me," Phil told him, "I'll take you to Neverland Dan, where you'll be accepted. You'll never have to worry about it again."

"Why, why would you take me?" Dan asked, accepting this as his new reality. Why fight it, when this was all he'd ever wanted? And at the end of the day, if Phil was some drunk guy who was about to push him off the roof, then he wasn't going to complain. Being dead was what he wanted as well. He would win either way.

"You're beautiful Dan, and you don't know it," Phil wiggled his fingers, motioning for Dan to hold his hand, "I want you to come to Neverland with me, so you'll realise how beautiful you are."

"How do we get to Neverland?" Dan asked, taking Phil's hand gingerly. He was ready for this. He was going to fly away with this beautiful man, and he was never going to look back.

"We fly," Phil said simply, "Take hold of my hand Dan. Take hold of it, and never let go."

Dan nodded, gripping his hand tighter, and suddenly they were flying through the air. True to his word, Dan never looked back...