The Life Of Trans Phan

Pastel! Dan and Punk! Phil

​"Hey, Phil!" I called, jogging up to him as we exited the school building.

"What?" He asked, annoyance clear in his voice, "Oh, hey Flower crown,"

"Hi," I replied, suddenly getting nervous, "Uh, I was wondering if you want to go get coffee or something?"

"I was wondering when you'd finally get the courage to ask me that," He remarked. Honestly, I should have known that he knew I liked him. The entire school knows; I don't exactly hide it!

"So is that a yes?" I asked hopefully, readjusting the purple flower crown that sat on my head.

"Only if you're paying," He said, taking the earphones fully out of his ears and stuffing them in his pocket.

"Of course! Starbucks?" I asked, praying that I wouldn't mess this up. I had one chance with Phil, I couldn't screw it up.

"Sounds good," He says. We start walking down to Starbucks, which was just round the corner from our school. A lot of people gave us really weird looks, but I guess that's understandable. I'm the popular, cheerful kid that's dressed in purples and greens with a flower crown on my head while Phils the Bad Boy, moody kid that's dressed completely in black with loads of tattoos and piercings. We just didn't match.

"So why today?" Phil spoke up suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well obviously you've been wanting to ask me out for ages, why today?" He explained. I blushed, slightly embarrassed that he knew how long I've been wanting to ask him out.

"Well you seemed to be in a slightly good mood today so I figured I had a better chance," I told him honestly. I was really quite surprised that he'd agreed to this, because let's be honest, Phil hates interacting with humans.

"Hm, I got a new tattoo last night, that's why I'm in a good mood," He remarked, lifting his sleeve up to show me a really cool dragon tattoo.

"That's so cool!" I told him, studying the tattoo. It was definitely one of my new favourite tattoos of his.

"Thanks," He grunted, opening the door to Starbucks and letting me enter first. We went in and ordered our coffees before finding a place to sit.

"So flower crown, why do you like wearing bright colours so much?" He asks me, taking a sip of his coffee and staring intently at me.

"They make me happy, and they make other people happy. Well, not you I suppose, but most people," I explain, happy that he was making an effort to start a conversation. This date was going so much better than I thought it would!

"Who said they don't make me happy?"

"Well, I just figured they don't since you like black so much,"

"They do make me happy!" He exclaims, blushing a little bit.

"Well I'm glad," I say honestly. I really like this boy; the fact that I make him happy makes me extremely happy, "Why do you like wearing black so much?"

"It reflects how I feel I guess," He says simply.

"Fair enough, though I wish you weren't sad," I told him.

"Thanks," he says, offering me a small smile, "How are you so happy all the time? I just can't understand you at all! You always have a smile on your face,"

"I'm just a happy person I suppose,"I answer, shocked at his honesty.

"You're a lucky person, that's what you are!" I just shrug.

"So how's school going?" I ask him.

"You know exactly how schools going, we have every class together! It's stressful and not going to plan,"

"At least the works easy this term I guess," I say, ever the optimist.

"Easy! I don't know what planet you're on but I would not call the work easy!" He exclaims.

"You're struggling with the work? No wonder it's stressful! Maybe you could find a tutor?" I suggest, feeling bad for him. Highschools hard enough without struggling with the basics!

"Yeah, because so many people would tutor me!" He says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I would,"

"Yeah but you've had a crush on me since we were like, thirteen! That's different,"

"Eleven actually, get it right!" I joke, smiling when he laughs.

"Whatever," He says with a smile on his face.

"I'll tutor you if you want, though?" I suggest.

"Sure,"

___

When we're finished with our drinks, we get up and leave.

"So, d'ya wanna come back to my place for a bit?" Phil asks as we walk out the shop.

"Yeah, I just have to tell my mum," I say, pulling my phone out and ignoring Phil as he starts laughing at me.

"Hey mum, is it alright if I go over to Phils house for awhile?" I ask her.

"Phil? As in the guy you've liked since Year 7?" She asked, loud enough that Phil heard her, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, that Phil,"

"Sure honey, stay as long as you want, and don't screw this up okay?"

"Thanks, mum!" I say before hanging up and turning back to Phil who was still laughing at me.

"Even your mum knows you like me! That's just embarrassing!" He laughs.

"Shut up!" I protest, glaring at him as we walk through the empty streets.

___

"And this is my bedroom, go pick a game to play or a movie to watch or something, I'm going to go and get food," He said before walking back down the stairs. I walked into the room and instantly noticed something that I really wasn't expecting.

If I had been anyone else, I would have presumed they were normal vests, which is probably what he thought I'd think. But I have a little brother and he has these as well.

Phil has at least six different binders, all littering his floor. I open the top drawer of his bedside table and find exactly what I was looking for; a packer.

There's no denying it. Phil's Transgender.

"Hey Dan, do you like sweet popcorn?" He asks, pushing the door open with his hips.

"Yeah,"

"Good because it's what you're getting," He jokes, placing the food down on the bed, "Are you okay?"

"Phil, are you Transgender?" I ask bluntly, deciding to just ask him. He freezes, looking at me with wide eyes.

"N, no, of course not!" He exclaims.

"Phil, my little brother is Trans, I know binders and packers when I see them," He sits down on the bed next to me and I instinctively wrap my arm around his waist.

"Yeah, yeah I am," He whispers, his head dropping to my shoulder.

"You know this changes nothing right? You're still Phil and I'm not going to tell anyone," I reassure him, pulling him closer to me so our sides were right next to each other.

"Thanks, Dan," He mumbled into my shirt.

"Thanks for everything,"