Dementophobia • tyler joseph •

isle of flightless birds // entry

July 19th, 2013

Conversation between Mr. Baker and Courtney Akehurst.

B: So I heard Tyler said he had a crush on you in the support group. Is that why you don't want to come out of your room?

C: Yes. I don't want to see him.

B: Why is that? Tyler is a nice boy. He would understand if you don't feel the same. Your feelings haven't really developed for you yet.

C: I don't like Tyler like that. He scares me. It scares me that he wants to be friends with me. Why does he? I'm not special and nobody else likes me.

B: Courtney, you are more special than you know. Besides, I like you. Your friends back home like you.

C: Then why aren't they ever here on visiting days?

B: You have been in this place for two years. People's lives change over time. Your friends are getting jobs and licenses. They are growing up and just because they don't come and see you doesn't mean that they don't like you or miss you.

C: I know that I am really sick. Every patient that has entered this hospital has left before me. I can't befriend Tyler because he'll just leave me too.

B: Some friendships last a lifetime and some develop into something more. You just have to be willing to take risks.

•••

I knew Mr. Baker figured out that I took Courtney's file. I didn't break into his office on the intent of stealing, just looking, but her file was so interesting.

Pete was afraid that we were going to be caught, so I just grabbed the file and ran. That wasn't my brightest idea.

Courtney asked me if I took her file and I couldn't lie to her. She was actually speaking me, so there was no way I was going to stay silent or lie. She really didn't give off the vibe that she was mad because I took it. She seemed mad because I didn't ask her about her illness instead of not taking the file. It was very hard to read her.

Mr. Baker and Courtney followed me back to my room where I could return the file. Of course, Pete was in the room and automatically yelled "It was his idea!" Thank you, Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the III.

Then he fully realized that Courtney was in the room and fell silent as he stared at her. Courtney shifted uncomfortably and I snapped my fingers in front of Pete's face to get him to stop. Mr. Baker was laughing quietly to himself which confused Courtney.

Her file was buried in the very back of Pete and I's shared desk. I wanted to hide it under my bed, but Pete thought it would have been a very obvious place to look. I disagreed, but I complied to his wishes and picked the desk instead.

The file was quite thick and I had already read everything the night before. I knew Mr. Baker was going to figure out that I took Courtney's file and there was no way I was going to have it taken away from me without reading every single word. I wished I didn't because I felt guilty and sad. Guilty because I invaded Courtney's privacy and ruined Mr. Baker's trust and sad because now I knew what she really thought of me.

I handed the file over to Mr. Baker who gave me a disapproving look before starting towards the door. I was wanting for a punishment from him, but I think he knew that I had been punished enough based from Courtney's reaction.

"You know everything that has happened in my life. Did you really think that looking at my file was the best way for me to be friends with you?" Her voice was very soft, but cut me to the core.

I told her I was sorry, but an apology would never make up for what I had done.

She shook her head. "I'm crazy, Tyler. Do you really think you want me in your life?"

With that, she stormed out of my room, leaving me feeling worse than I already did.

Tyler Joseph, entry number wow I'm a jerk in Isle of Flightless Birds.
Written on July 19th, 2013 at 5:28 pm.

A/N: The conversation between Mr. Baker and Courtney that is above was a therapy session that was in Courtney's file that Tyler read.