Dementophobia • tyler joseph •

twenty // those cry baby tears come out of the dark

--Courtney's P.O.V--

Mark and Josh were right. Being on stage got a whole lot easier by the time we finally made it back to Columbus. I still felt quite nervous and shaky, but I no longer felt like I was going to puke my guts up everywhere.

I had more problems to worry about than that.

One, Jenna was definitely not happy with me. She really was never happy with me, but ever since Tyler hugged me back in Washington D.C, I'm pretty sure she's been plotting my death. Her eyes seemed to follow me wherever I go, making sure that I wasn't making a move on Tyler.

Two, Tyler was starting to talk to me. His sudden openness towards me was making Jenna livid and confusing me in the process. He now made sure to include me in every conversation although I didn't know what the subject of the conversation was most of the time. Also, he made sure to carry my bags whenever we stayed at a hotel. Josh would offer as well, but Tyler just wouldn't take no for an answer.

Three, Josh was worrying me. At first, his friendliness was welcoming considering the fact that nobody else would really talk to me. Now, however, I was afraid he was developing a crush on me. He was becoming clingy and asked multiple times if I was dating that "Tanner guy," as he liked to call him.

Four, Tyler said that there was some music festival going on in Columbus where a lot of different bands are playing. The bad part is that they all knew Tyler and Josh which meant that I was going to have to meet at least four different bands in this visit. Neither Tyler nor Josh would tell me what bands they were. Tyler said I should be excited though. I just afraid that I was going to have an anxiety attack.

And finally five, I was going to see Tanner for the first time since he kissed me. We made a plan for him to teach me a little bit about driving while we are in the same area. I was very nervous, but I first had to deal with the music festival and hope that I didn't have an anxiety attack because one of my favorite bands might be there and hear me sing.

"Seriously, Courtney, how long does it take you to get ready?" Josh yelled outside the bathroom door. "I have to do my hair!"

"Maybe I have to do my hair too!" I shouted in reply, pressing my palms against the white counter top of the vanity. "I'll be out in a minute!"

I heard Josh groan in disgust. "Fine, but please hurry up! We are leaving in fifteen minutes and it takes me ten minutes to get ready!"

Josh shuffled away from the door and I released a deep breath. My hair was already done. It was hanging down to my shoulders with perfect curls, but I just needed time to collect myself.

Today was going to be a stressful day. I could already tell. Tyler had made it apparent that I was going to meet some of my favorite bands and I was going to be alone with Tanner in a car. Not my opinion of a great day. However, I need to face it.

I stepped away from the vanity before pulling open the door and stepping out. Josh was sitting on the couch across from the bathroom, playing on his phone. "Thank goodness! Literally I have never seen anybody take that long in the bathroom, not even Jenna

I shot him a glare and he shut up, retreating into the empty bathroom.

He didn't know anything. He didn't know how self-conscious I was when it came to my appearance and he didn't know how it made me feel when I was alone by myself in the bathroom. I wasn't used to it.

When I was in the hospital, someone accompanied me to the bathroom every time I had to go. I was at the hospital for five years and for two and half years out of that five, I was on suicide watch. Around the time Tyler came along, I was in a bad place and attempted, and finally left Tyler left, I was on suicide watch until the moment I discharged myself.