My Bipolar Mother

Chapter One~ Bit of Background

•Chapter One- Bit of Background•

Bipolar Disorder. Something I know all to well about. But I don't exactly understand, no one does. I'm not even sure my mother, who has it understands it. But this is what I know about Bipolar Disorder.

There are three phases when you have bipolar:

1. Manic- Where your brain produced a bunch of happy nerves, you tend to not sleep much if at all. You say a lot of stuff you don't mean, and sometimes don't remember. You'll spend like crazy, money you don't even have. You might even return the stuff. This phase was the one I hated the most.

2. Depressed- Where your brain produces more sad nerves. You tend to sleep a lot. And cry, and cry, and cry. You apologize for things you've said. And usually stay home all day. You save like crazy. Never wanting to spend a dime, always worried. But you're still mean... This phase was usually when you ended up in the hospital. I liked this phase the best.

3. Normal- This phase is when your medications have balanced perfectly and you're normal for once. I've never seen this phase, therefore I don't know much about it. When you have this disorder it usually can be controlled and stabilized with the right pills.. Unless you're like my mom.

Now you know the phases. There are times when each last months at a time. Sometimes they even mix, though that's usually when you're changing from one phase to another. That was the worst when it was mixed. Keep in mind Bipolar Disorder is different for everyone that has it.

Now for the symptoms of this disorder:

The manic phase may last from days to months. It can include these symptoms:

•Easily distracted

•Little need for sleep

•Poor judgment

•Poor temper control

•Reckless behavior and lack of self control such as drinking, drug use, sex with many partners, spending sprees

Very elevated, expansive or irritable mood, such as racing thoughts, talking a lot, false beliefs about self or abilities

•Very involved in activities

The depressive episode may include these symptoms:

•Daily low mood or sadness

•Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

•Eating problems such as loss of appetite and weight loss, or overeating and weight gain

•Fatigue or lack of energy

•Feeling worthless, hopeless, or guilty

•Loss of pleasure in activities once enjoyed

•Loss of self-esteem

•Thoughts of death or suicide

•Trouble getting to sleep or sleeping too much

•Pulling away from friends or activities that were once enjoyed

(I got these symptoms online from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001924/ )

Bipolar has become a very popular word lately. And quiet frankly I hate it. Kids in my school will say, "Man, that teacher is so bipolar." When she is just having a bad day. They don't know what Bipolar is. Most don't. People believe it is when you have a lot of mood swings constantly. Well yes, I suppose it could be classified as that. Mood swings are involved. My mother's didn't change in the blink of an eye, unless she was mixed. She was mainly one or the other and they lasted months at a time. So I guess it differs.

My mother was diagnosed with Manic/Depressive Disorder, otherwise known as Bipolar Disorder when she was 17. Her mother, my grandmother, didn't believe her. She refused to. My mother attempted suicide a lot as a child. And my grandmother didn't help. They thought she did it for attention. But she got a lot of treatments, my father even told me she had shock therapy (I can't confirm it, but I don't doubt it). She has been like this all her life and it just gets worse and worse as she grew up.

I am currently 15 turning 16. And my mother moved out last June. She lives by my grandma and aunt in a completely different state. People ask me do I miss her, all the time. I reply not at all, because she was no mother to me. This is my story of My Bipolar Mother....