In His Arms[Ziam/Ziall Fanfic]

Chapter 11

Warmth. 

I wake up to a toasty warm feeling. Like I’ve been transported to somewhere near the equator. Maybe Hawaii on a beach filled with sand and tranquil sounds of waves brushing against the shore. I snuggle up into the warmness, smacking my chapped lips in my sleep. The warmth feels so good. This must be heaven. 

After all, I don’t think I could have survived passing out in the cold. I just couldn’t find the strength in me to deal with what I had witnessed. Zayn: the boy I love with all my heart, in the arms of one of my best mates. 

Was that what I was? 

A bargaining chip. 

A sex slave to feed Zayn’s urge and to be discarded like outdated clothes? How could he do that to me? How could he betray me and lie to me? 

I should have seen the signs earlier. 

The late night booty calls. The way he climaxed screaming Liam’s name. I should have known that he needed to think of someone else to get off. 

It was just verified. I was too ugly to love. Too Irish. Too blonde(which was just a lie). I was a brunette but management found it better for sales if I was a blonde. They just wanted to mask my ugliness. After all, out of all the boys, I was the one who needed most work for my appearance. 

The hair change, the braces, the muscle enhancers. 

What will everyone think when they find my body in the snow? Will they freak? Will he even care that I’m dead? 

Probably not. 

He’s too busy getting fucked by Liam “The Fucking Boyfriend Stealer” Payne. And how could Liam even go through with it being the only straight one of us in the group? 

Not so straight anymore . . .

Nor is he the sensible Daddy Directioner anymore. 

Maybe Zayn’s daddy.

And the thought makes me feel anger all over again. I thought heaven takes away your anger, making anything you feel instant love? 

I squirm into the warmth, feeling a soft wall in front of me and a soft wall in back of me. Is this my casket? Holy fuck. Am I still alive but its too late because I’m already six feet under the ground! What the fuck! I’m trapped here without any air!

My eyes spring open in a flash. 

What I see makes me irate and calm, all at the same time. My anger gets the best of me and I push away from the raven-haired boy. Turning my head, the other soft wall is Liam. Liam Fucking Payne! I push away from both of them, waking them up in a heartbeat. When I stand, I feel my knees give way and I’m kneeling, trying to get back up again. 

Zayn’s eyes are red-rimmed and runny. What the fuck was the cheater crying about? He felt guilty that I wanted to kill myself? He knew what he was doing! He knew that he was just using me the nights Liam was too busy screwing his girlfriend. I was just the little bit on the side! 

“Ni,” Zayn says smiling. “You’re awake.”

Even when I feel cold towards the lad, I can’t help but feel a little ray of light when I see his smile. I look away, using all my strength to lift me back to my feet. 

“I was better off dead.”

This has the room in silence. 

As I head for the door, I realize that there is a lot of wind in the apartment. But all the windows are closed and the fireplace is burning bright. I look down and my eyes open wide. I’m fucking naked! Why am I fucking naked?