In His Arms[Ziam/Ziall Fanfic]

Chapter 7

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“The funny thing about that is, I would let you use me. If you asked me to swim, even when I can’t, I would. If you asked me to lie down and take it, I would service you with a smile. And if you told me to jump off the nearest building, I would . . . and hope that you’ll be on the ground, ready to catch me in your arms. You’re my only weakness, Liam. I only love you. The thing with Niall means nothing to me. I would give up my world to have a chance to be yours.”

You’re my only weakness, Liam. I only love you. Zayn’s words are like taking a bullet to the heart. The thing with Niall means nothing to me. And it feels like I have died on the inside. I would have given my entire life for Zayn. To make him see the light. To show him that he can be happy with someone like me . . . Someone who he made his world, and would happily give him the world if he wanted. 

I don’t have to open the door to know what happens next. A clash of sloppy lips echo through the hallway. Funny. Just this afternoon it was me that Zayn was kissing. Me that was fucking him against the door. 

And now it’s Liam. I should have known. 

Josh was right. Why couldn’t I see it? How could I have been so blind? 

Perhaps I was just blinded by love? I’m so stupid! I knew Zayn didn’t want me and now he’s in Liam’s arms, and I can hear Zayn gasp as I suspect Liam has picked him up and carried him to the bed . . . The bed I have slept in for months because Zayn was afraid to sleep alone. The same bed that I had found sanctuary in. 

Zayn being in my arms was magical. I finally had someone to protect and who loves me . . . Well, loved. Or was he just playing me this whole time? That every time I make love to Niall, every time he fucks me, I’m wishing it was you . . . So he was screaming Liam’s name, not because he had caught us having sex, but he had to visualize Liam to be the one doing him, for him to orgasm. Like I was just a doll that he could use and throw aside when he was finished with me. 

I should have known that I was disposable. 

After all, that’s why me and Josh had broken up. I’m relieved I didn’t let Zayn in on that little secret. Josh was my first, but when things started getting serious between the both of us, he wanted to take a break to “test the waters” and “try something new.” But what does that mean? If you’re happy with the person you’re with, why try and find something better, that may not even exist? There is nothing greater than happiness, so why do people have to go out looking for happiness, when they already have it? 

Unless Josh truly wasn’t happy with me? As Zayn apparently is. 

Zayn could have just been up front like Josh and said that I wasn’t good enough. That I was just the pale faced, ugly looking Irish lad that even his father was too embarrassed to love. Then, it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does. I would have saved myself from the heartache. But maybe he liked prolonging my suffering. And wanted me to find them together so I would take the hint and leave him alone from now on. After all, that is why he’s been ignoring all my texts today. Right? 

“Hey babe, just got to the studio with Josh. I love you.”

“It’s so boring here without you. I love you.”

“Liam must not have said anything because I’ve just seen Louis and Harry and they didn’t bring anything up about it. You’re in the clear. I love you.”

“You must be busy but just text me when you can. I want to know how you’re doing. I love you.”