The Only Thing I Ever Really Loved (Corey Taylor)

Chapter 18

The next morning, I awoke to find the apartment empty again. The only proof that Corey had been here was thanks to some water on the bathroom floor that hadn't managed to dry and the waist bucket still sat near the end of the bed. As I moved the pale back into it's proper place, I noticed a small piece of paper on the edge of my dresser. The note only had two words written on it, obviously in Corey's handwriting.

'I'm sorry.'

I stared down at the tiny message, feeling a sinking sensation in my chest. Why did I have to want something I most definitely knew wouldn't happen? I'm just setting myself up for continuous heartache. I sighed heavily as I opened the nightstand drawer and brushed the note inside, not really knowing why I wanted to keep it. It was going to be just another piece of clutter.

***

Several Months Later...

Despite the fact everything had been quiet in my life after the night I had last spoke to Corey, I knew things were going to ramp back up very soon. Miranda was due any day now and she had decided to name her daughter Kasha strangely enough. On top of that I was supposed to be going out with Sarah to try on my bridesmaid dress in just an hour. I didn't waste any time attempting to fix myself up, seeing as I really didn't care what I looked like in front of her. I simply tied up my hair and threw on some blue jeans and a black tank top.

I went back to reading about what to expect from a baby throughout it's infancy, kids are proving to be more complicated than I had first thought. I clicked on the next page right as I got a text from Sarah saying she was almost here, so I decided to shut down the computer and head into the living room to wait for her. This whole trip is going to cement the fact in my mind of her being the one marrying the man I've wanted for years. It made me sick to my stomach. Why did I even agree to be a part of this in the first place?

A soft knock on the door guides me out of my thoughts and I get up from the couch to open the door to greet Sarah.

"Hey Ash, you ready to go?" She asked with a bright smile on her face.

I nodded, keeping my voice cheery, "Yeah, I'm excited to see this dress."

I listened to her talk as I locked up the apartment behind me, "I really hope you like it, it's such a gorgeous color."

We got in her car and she continued to chatter about all the plans they had gotten together for the wedding. She said they only had a few weeks left now, oh joy. Right as she was telling me about the major theme and the color scheme and as I was thinking about how much I knew Corey couldn't have had a hand in any of this, something caught my eye.

I plucked a tiny brochure off the nearly spotless floorboard, it was to a rehab center. I waited for Sarah to finish speaking before asking, "Hey, what's this for?"

She glances over at what I'm holding and her face falls slightly as she admits, "That's for Corey."

"Is he getting worse?"

"He's more drunk now than not. I'm just really worried about him and what this could do to his career. I can't afford to be the one supporting us, my job is nothing compared to his." She tells me with a shake of her head. As she turns down the street that her mother lived on, which is where all the dresses were at she mutters under her breath just loud enough to be heard, "It also doesn't make since that he lives in that apartment still despite having enough money to get us a better house. This isn't what I signed up for."

That remark struck me as odd, so just to see what she'd say I added in, "I don't see how you're able to put up with he constantly being like that."

"Well it's not like he's hurting anyone other than himself. All he really does is go out to party and make an ass of himself. Or he just whines on and on about that girl he misses." She explains and right at the end her voice gained a sharp edge.

"He actually told you about her?"

She rose an eyebrow at me, "You know about her too? Did he happen to tell you who she is?"

I was confused by her behavior now, but I answered honestly, "No, he told me that I wouldn't know her."

Sarah laughed at that, "He's so pathetic when it comes to her."

"Who is she?"

We pulled up to our destination and she quickly killed the engine. Before hoping out of the car she says, "It doesn't really matter now. I'm the one he's marrying, not her."

Despite how much I didn't want to admit it, I couldn't deny the pain in my chest at her remark. No matter how Corey acted, he had ultimately made his decision on who he was going to be with and that was Sarah. I followed her silently into the house and kept my actions kind and easygoing as her mother greeted us and we got to me trying on the dress. It was a deep maroon shade that nearly resembled a prom dress, I'm glad that it at least looked decent on me. Sarah decided after we figured out that the dress would in fact fit me, despite being tight in a few places like my chest and hips, that she would put her's on to show me.

I sat in the living room waiting for the two women to return, my phone began to ring and when I went to answer it a deep voice was on the other end. "Is this Miss Adams?"

"Yes, may I ask who's calling?"

"I'm Darrel Parker, the warden at the Des Moines jail. I was informed to contact to you on the inmate, Miranda Briner's child arriving."

"The baby is here?" I questioned in disbelief.

"Not yet, but on the way. Briner is currently at the hospital in labor I believe."

"Okay, thank you sir."

After being told which hospital she was in and a quick formal goodbye I rushed back to the room Sarah and her mother had disappeared into and frantically knocked on the door. "Um, I hate to do this right now, but I need to be leaving now. Miranda's child is on the way."

I was surprised when the door was open to reveal Sarah in her dress, attempting to hold up the heavy white material and thought to myself she was going to make a lovely bride. "Ashley I have so many things I still need to take care of, I don't know if I can manage that too."

Her beauty didn't change who I knew her to be though, extremely selfish at times. So I resorted to begging, "Please you can just drop me off at the hospital and you can continue with your day."

She seemed to ponder over it for a moment before saying, "Alright, fine."