The Only Thing I Ever Really Loved (Corey Taylor)

Chapter 17

When it came down to Miranda and I sorting everything out, we agreed that her kid would be in my care until her release. Since I had no clue how to properly care for a baby I spent a good amount of my free time researching. I knew that it wouldn't be enough when it came to dealing with the real thing though. It had been several weeks since Miry's sentencing and I hadn't really talked to anyone in a long time since I was so busy, so in a way things are relatively quiet for me. By the time I decided to glance at the clock on my computer monitor I realized that I should take a shower since I had a fairly rough and dirty day at work and it was going on 12:30 at night.

I quickly grabbed some night clothes, consisting of a gray tank top and some small black cotton shorts, and went to the hall closet for some towels. I sat everything on the sink and pulled back the shower curtain before I heard a hard knocking on the front door. I sighed as I went to answer it and I was pretty shocked when I saw Sarah and Corey through the peep hole, so I was fast about opening the door.

"Hey guys, what's got you out here at this time of night?" I questioned, trying to be as friendly as I could as I noticed her hold on Corey. It appeared that she was actually trying to keep him propped up.

"I can't do this right now." She blurted out.

"Can't do what?" I asked, highly puzzled at this point.

"Him. I can't deal with his problems, he's driving me insane." She tells me, nodding in the direction of the obviously drunk man next to her. "He needs to stay here."

"Wait, why?"

She shoved him in and he staggered forward, making his way down the hall, swaying with every step.

"He's being ridiculous, constantly wasted and always muttering on and on about..." Her voice trailed off and I was surprised when she began to glare at me before shaking her head and finishing with, "I need to go."

She didn't waste a second as she rushed to her car and peeled out of the parking lot into the night. I stood there long enough to let out a sigh before I shut and locked the door back, heading down the hall to find out where Corey had ventured off to. I found him passed out on my bed, his face buried in the light green comforter. I rolled him onto his side, snatching several pillows to keep him in place and put the waste basket next to him on the floor. Seeing as there wasn't much else I could do in that moment I moved back into the bathroom to get on with my shower. 

I grabbed a towel from my clothing pile and tossed it on top of the curtain rod, before adjusting the water until I felt it was a good temperature. Before stepping in it dawned on me that Miranda and I had still hadn't gotten a chance to fix the broken door lock to this bathroom. I rolled my eyes at the thought of the never ending list of things that need to be repaired in this old apartment. I disregarded the issue for the moment and stepped into the warm stream of the shower. While I was washing up I could have sworn I heard the faint sounds of movement and it didn't take me long to gather that Corey was probably up again.

I was in the middle of ringing out my hair after rinsing all the conditioner out when I heard the door swiftly let out a whine as it was swung open. Before I had time to react the shower curtain was yanked back with a screech of protest and Corey's fully clothed form was pulling my wet one against him. I only had time to let out a sharp gasp before his mouth crashed over mine, in a wet and needy kiss. Even though he had my bare body right there at his disposal his hands find home's at the small of my back and in my hair. It didn't take long for the aching between my legs to set in as he pressed me onto the tile wall, the movement of his lips becoming more intoxicating.

Despite how much I wanted to let this all ride out to the outcome I knew it would bring, I also knew I didn't need the mess that was going to come along with it. I was getting ready to be in charge of a child soon and I didn't need to be in the emotional compromising state being with Corey in this moment would cause. He still seemed to only want me when he was drunk and that wasn't a good enough reason to allow this to happen, so despite every nerve in my body protesting the idea I placed my hands to his now soaked chest. As soon as I made our kiss break, Corey appeared to understand my intentions, but he didn't act like he wanted them. He shook his head hastily, trying to guide me back to him.

"Stop." I say as I moved my lips away from his, but he simply began planting pecks across my neck, making me weak in the knees. I shoved Corey back harder this time, "I said stop! You're getting married soon for Christ sake!"

He finally seemed to come back to reality from whatever state of mind he was in and hung his head. I stepped past him and out of the shower, quickly gathering up my things along the way.

I wasn't done with ranting at him though, so I continued out in the hallway. "Why can you never want me when you're sober? It's like I'm dealing with two totally different people half the time!"

"Ashley, you don't understand..."

I cut him off before he could finish, "What do I not understand? You don't even have a clue what you want from me or Sarah, do you?"

He fell silent once again.

"Well you know what? She's the one that wants you and she is the one that loves you, so go to her! Just leave me out of all of this, I don't want this!" Despite the ferocity in my voice I didn't mean a single word I had said.

I wanted him more than anything in this world, he had saved my life when no one else could. So in return I gave him a heart that he didn't seem to want. I realized that I was creating a puddle in the floor, so I just shook my head and hurried into Miranda's room to dry off and get dressed. I made sure to lock the door since this one actually worked and once I was done I didn't leave that room for the rest of the night. I just sat there with tears silently running down my cheeks until I passed out from exhaustion.