Gracewood Academy (Hope and Secrets)

Chapter 30- Let Me Wallow In Peace

I smell bleach. That is the first thing I noticed. I slowly open my eyes and my eyes burn from the florescent lighting. After a few seconds my eyes adjust. I moan when I feel the pain in the back of my head. It feels like a truck hit me, head first.

"Hope?" I hear Chase's soft voice.

I turn my head slowly and see Chase is sitting in a chair next to the bed, face full of worry. "What happened?"

"Kyle found out about the baby." It all then comes back to me. "The nurse is coming back in a second. I haven't told her about the pregnancy yet."

"Chase, I'm not pregnant."

His eyes widen. "What?"

"The doctor ran some tests. It turned out to be a false positive."

He sighs with relief. "I wasn't ready to be a father." I grab his hand and squeeze it.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"For what?" he scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion.

"Everything. For being there when I thought I was pregnant."

"I would have stood by you. I just wanted you to know that." He smiles sadly.

"I am sorry too. Kyle is your best friend and I tore you guys apart."

"It's not your fault. I am to blame too."

The nurse then walks in and says I have a concussion. Again. She instructs me to take Monday and Tuesday off school and I am not allowed to sleep for the next six hours. Chase walks me back to my dorm. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

I shake my head. "It's okay." I am going to go and stay with Anna.

He hugs me. "I am sorry."

"Me too." I pull away and walk into my room.

Jess is texting on her phone on her bed. "How did Kyle react to finding out he was going to be a teenage dad?" Jess looks up and remarks.

"Jess, I am not pregnant!" I yell at her now completely wound up. "And what happens in my life is my fucking business. Not yours. Got it?"

Jess looks at me shocked. She just nods. I grab my stuff and head over to Anna's room. 

I knock on the door and when she opens it I burst into tears exhausted. She puts her arms around me and leads me to her bed where I continue to sob on her shoulder for what feels like hours. I finally stop. Anna just sits there waiting for me to tell her what's wrong when I am ready, and I love her for it. She sits there silently as I tell her what happened leaving out pregnancy bit. I tell her about how I cheated on Kyle with Chase leaving out when it happened otherwise she will work out who my mom is and I couldn't deal with that right now. She doesn't judge me. She just sits with me through it all. 

I spend the night in her room sharing her bed with her. The next morning I go back to my room once I know Jess has gone to breakfast and stay there all day. I don't bother going to get food. I don't have an appetite for anything right now anyway. The next few days continue like that. Me, moping in my bed refusing to eat or even shower. All I do is stare at the wall or sleep. I end up not bothering to go to classes the rest of the week. I got lots of missed calls and texts but I eventually turn off my phone leaving them unanswered. Anna has come over a couple times knocking on the door but I don't let her in. She tells me that she has left food out there but I don't get up for it. When Jess comes back in after classes she will bring the food in and leave it on my desk for me to eat. I usually manage to eat a little but it all feels forced. One day I hear my door open expecting Jess to walk in.

"AJ, quit lying around and get up and give your friend a hug."

I quickly sit up, shocked to see Ben standing at the end of my bed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" My throat feels weird as those are the first words I have uttered all week.

"I am here to take my best friend out. So go and get in the shower and hurry up!" he demands.

"Ben, I don't wanna go anywhere. Just let me wallow in peace." I groan. He walks over to the side of the bed. Before I realise what he is doing her throws me over his shoulder and carries me to the shower. "Put me down Ben!" I try to wriggle free. I hear the sound of the shower turn on and he puts me inside clothes and all.

"Now get clean and get changed. I am not taking no for an answer." He walks out the bathroom leaving me there confused. 

Almost robotically I clean myself up. I walk out the bathroom ignoring Ben who is making my bed. I don't think he has ever made a bed in his life. I throw on a pair of jeans and a red knitted sweater as it is getting cooler outside. I don't bother with makeup and I just throw my hair into a wet bun. I walk back out and Ben is waiting by the door expectantly. 

"Great. Let's go." He grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall. 

He quickly puts on a hat and sunglasses and looks around as if checking to see if it was clear.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to get attacked by a mob of fans right now." Oh. Good thing that it is deserted. Everyone is probably in class. He leads me to the secret path to the beach trying not to be seen.

"How do you know about this?" Referring to the path.

"How do you think I got in without being seen?" he smirks.

We get to the beach and we walk along it in silence for a while in silence. "What are you doing here Ben?"

"Chase called me." He sits down in the sand.

I sit down next to me. "Why?" I ask simply, staring out to the ocean.

"He was worried about you. He told me everything." I look into his eyes. I would cry but I don't think I have any tears left in me. "You could have called me AJ." He looks at me sad that I didn't come to him.

"I know. I was scared. I just didn't know what to do. This is my fault. I can't really complain." I sigh. I try to focus on the smell of the ocean and the cool breeze. It was definitely getting chilly now that it is November.

"It wasn't your best decision but it will be okay. You can't stay mad at yourself forever. I mean look at you. You look skinny as hell. Have you eaten anything?"

I shake my head. "Not really."

"Here." He reaches into a backpack that I didn't notice he had with him and pulls out two sandwiches passing one to me. "Eat." He wasn't asking. He was demanding.

I take a bite of my sandwich forcing myself to swallow. The more I ate the hungrier I felt and I ended up consuming the whole thing pretty quickly. Silently, Ben passes me half of his sandwich and I finish that off too. "Thank you." I whisper to him.

"Let's go." He suddenly stands up.

"Where are we going now?"

"Just follow me." We walk up a public footpath and cross the road to get to a small car park. 

I spot a neon green sports car. I am not really sure what type but I know that it is Ben's. He opens the door for me and I get in.

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