Ryan's POV
-
Ha. I made a mistake. She doesn't like me back. She never will. She can't.
First of all, she has a boyfriend. Second of all, her dad is overprotective as fuck and three, she fucking hates me.
She's better off with Mike anyways. He won't be a dick to her all the time.
No matter how much I want her, I'll know that I'm no good for her.
Even if I were a good match for her. Chris would never approve. He doesn't want his bandmates or the crew dating his daughter.
He made that very clear the day she turned eighteen. We have to act and treat her as if she's still a seventeen year old.
Obviously, I didn't listen. I've kissed her, I've held her, I've fucked her. I don't listen well.
I got us both in trouble, mainly because I let her keep my shirt. If I didn't, we'd still be allowed to be alone together.
I'm pretty sure that if Mike or Luke fucked Mandy, and gave her their shirt. Chris wouldn't be mad. It would just be 'oh it's just her friend or boyfriend giving her a shirt, no big deal'.
If I do as much as look at Mandy with lust or love. Chris can kick me out of the band.
Sometimes I miss being with Allie. At least when I was with her, my heart wasn't invested in a girl who doesn't feel the same about me or has boyfriend.
It's for the best though. Me not being allowed to be with Mandy is for the best. Chris doesn't want drama within the band or his bandmate to hurt his baby girl.
I'll do nothing but hurt her. Not physically of course. But mentally. And not intentionally...
I'm just naturally a dick. She'll probably ask something and I'll snap at her and she'll end up leaving me.
That's what's going to happen if I'm with her.
Point blank. I just need to push my feelings aside and focus on my career.
I'll find a girl who cares about me and is just as much of an asshole as I am one day.
But now is not the time.
