A Music Love Affair (Sequel to DPF)

Chapter 55: Drained

Chapter 55

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Jaycee

My mind is all over the place. Between tearing my damn house apart, burning Deandre's close and cussing O'Shae out through Twitter, I'm stuck now. I don't know what to think or do anymore. It's like I'm exhausted at this point, and fed the fuck up. Can someone please let me know when in the world Jaycee is goin' to catch a fuckin' break and be able to be happy? Can someone let me fucking know because I'm through with all this second hand happiness and messed up shit.

I paced my living room just waiting for Deandre to come through my fucking front door so I can fuck his dumb ass up. I swear the second that I think I've found happiness this bitch comes through and take it away. When I think I'm happy with August she brings her ass around and sleeps with him, when I think I'm happy having August's child she goes and gets pregnant too. Now finally, when I think I found the man of my dreams she comes through and sleeps with him too! Admitted I fucked up by cheating on Aug, but that didn't give her and him the right to cheat together. Then this time around I'm doing good and being faithful and she thinks it's acceptable to sleep with my nigga and then have the video floating around making me look stupid!

I paced on some more trying to get my thoughts together as I looked down at Alan. He played silently on the floor just oblivious to the bullshit his mother has to go through on a constant basis. Soon enough both of our attentions was caught by my front door opening. "Baby!" The bastard yelled.

I didn't even give him a chance to walk his dumb ass into the living room, I went ahead and met him in the entry way and as soon as I seen him I punched him right in his damn face. "Really nigga? That's how you do me after all this shit? You go and sleep with that bitch, really?"

"Jaycee, baby calm down and listen to me." He pleaded while he held his nose trying to make sure it wasn't bleeding.

I shook my head and then looked at him just wanting to hear his fabulous excuse. "Go ahead nigga."

"I was drunk. I had no idea what I was doing. We both left the club drunk off of our asses and then the rest is history. I don't remember anything but waking up naked with her."

"Really? So that makes the shit okay because you guys were drunk right? I'm suppose to be okay with that huh?"

"No, but you have to understand that I didn't intentionally mean to hurt you, things just happened."

I shook my head and laughed at the mess he was spewing thinking it's okay. Under no circumstances am I taking the I was drunk card; not now and not ever.

I looked up at him trying to find a little remorse in the niggas eyes, but there wasn't shit but possibly some hope, and it looked like hope that I'd believe him. "Intentionally or not muhfucker, we is done. You can --"

"Jaycee don't do this seriously," he cut in trying to reach for my hands but I kept pulling them away. "I'm apologizing, I feel horrible. I love you and I wouldn't do anything like this to hurt you baby, you gotta realize that."

"Sure whatever Deandre. Do you realize I poured my whole heart into what we have? Never in my life have I done so much to be with one nigga before. I give you everything that you could possibly want from me, let you around my son, and let you know about my past. You know how hard it was for me to just put my heart at risk and out there and you just go back and stomp on that shit like you didn't know how hard it was for me to risk being with you? That's fucked up Dre and you know it."

That's all honesty too. It's hard for me to be a bitch that put they heart out there for people because the people who was suppose to care about me most didn't give a shit about me. So letting strangers and shit loose with my heart is a risk that I was petrified of taking with Deandre. Took it and now that shit has back fired on me and it sucks.