My Immortal Being

Chapter 51 - Will of Death

I could hear the faint sound of the rain drop on the rooftop. I can smell wet flowers from the distance. My memories were intact and they had remained, every bit of it. I figured maybe this was to let me know that the past was the past now. But I felt like I was standing in one place and not moving at all.

I couldn't hear any sound anymore. I couldn't see anything. Darkness was all around me. I wrapped my arms around my waist and applied pressure to my already throbbing wounds. But I wasn't hurting anymore. In fact, I couldn't feel a wound on my body. If I remember clearly, I was bruised pretty badly and I had lost a lot of blood. My body had weakened and every second that passed by my vision would blur more and more. So, why wasn't I hurting anymore? This is surreal.

My mind was blank. No memories meant no pain and my body was numbed as if I was suddenly immune to pain. Was I in Heaven? Had I died? I would have smiled and hugged myself if I had died and went to heaven...but, Heaven is not a dark place. In fact, Heaven is a beautiful place filled with love, white light, brand new memories, and lots of friendly faces. Right?

Dark places meant...Hell. Was I in Hell? WAIT! Had God punished me enough to send me straight to hell? I wanted to scream, to cry out for the lord to take me back to Safe Haven, to take away my pain but I continued to see black. And then dark images appeared. I saw blood. Lots of blood. I saw shackles and disparity of people. Innocent lives were bounded and gagged.

And then I saw myself, hanging in midair with my neck split open.

My eyes suddenly flew open. I sat upright in one quick motion. I couldn't scream. My entire body swam in sweat as my heart raced rapidly. I saw light. Bright light. I looked around frantically trying to figure out where I was. My entire body and soul had driven itself to a safe, Heaven like place for a couple of good seconds and now that I was back, I was kind of disoriented. Where am I? I wasn't in Heaven. This didn't seem like Hell because I wasn't burning or hurting in agony.

Then familiar images began to take place. Slowly and slowly, everything started coming to place. The moonlight beamed at me and I bloomed like a fresh flower. I was in my apartment and on my bed. How did I get here? Who brought me here? Why is it still night time?

"Hey," a voice whispered, starling me. I jumped back a little before my mouth flew open. My entire body was shaken. My head raced. Why couldn't I just be normal and see things normal people saw instead of having my mind wander into different places seeing different images every second? My mouth parted open slightly after I had regained my consciousness.

"Justin?" My voice was barely audible. My heart struck a beat as I watched him lean closer to me. Life could be playing a sick joke on me right now and this could really be somebody else trying to be kind and helpful to me. But I vaguely remembered a little the nightfall. I had destroyed the bracelet with my own bare hands. He grabs my hand, throwing me off of my irrational thoughts. His hands are warm, and gentle. My lips tremble.

"I'm here," he mumbles, a single tear rolling down his face. He's no monster, this is my beloved! And he's back. Awe stricken, I give myself in and throw myself at him. Justin captures me into his arm, buries his face into my hair, and hugs me tight like his life depends on it. I equally applied force into the hug, reminding myself that this is what I had fought for. I was mentally, spiritually, and physically destroyed and anguished for the last couple of days. I even had said goodbye. But I had remained hanging on the thin thread of life. Justin was my life and he and I both had awakened from a deep, slumber sleep. I no longer felt annihilated. But I was hurting deep inside.

I pulled away. Reflexively, my hand raised and landed straight on his cheek. The sound echoed throughout the room and even though it wasn't my cheek, I felt the pain. The slap stung me. Justin, beguiled at my audacity, turned to me with his hand resting on the reddened cheek. I retaliated and grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to me until our nose touched. I completely lost myself in that spot and gave myself no reason to stop. I let it all out-- my anger, my anguish, my pain, my fears, everything. I didn't say anything but just cried and held onto him until my salty tears touched his lips.