For the Love of Ethan

Chapter 38 - Underlying Truths

Author's note... It has been a long slow year and a half. It is gradually getting better and I thank those of you who continue to wait and encourage me. You are truly amazing and I am forever grateful to you all.

This chapter is dedicated to someone who may just be my #1 fan. Thank you to "BRIANNABOMBSYOU123" for being a steady supporter from day one! I appreciate you so much!

Enough of my babbling... lets go just a little closer to our happy ending!

Underlying Truths 38

"Berkley, how long are you going to make him suffer?" Jess asked bluntly as she slid into a booth at the coffee shop.

"I'm not trying to punish him or us for that matter. It's killing me." Berkley sat swirling the foam around mindlessly in her hot chocolate.

"I know you love him so move back in and start picking up the pieces."

"It's not that simple." Berkley sighed.

"Nothing is ever simple with things that really matter but you have to give it your best shot."

Berkley's eyes were glistening when she met Jess's gaze.

"I want it to work. I love Dane with every fiber of my being. I can barely be in the same room with him right now. Every evening when he walks through the door, I want to rush into his arms and smother him with kisses, tell him how much I love him and how this is all a big mistake."

Jess looked at Berkley sympathetically.

"Then why not tell him?"

"I want to be sure we are really meant to be a family. Ana has been throwing herself at him for so long now. He says he has never cheated and I believe him. But Jess, if he didn't carry feelings for her wouldn't he have stopped her by now. I mean look at Blake. It wasn't easy but I made my feelings or lack thereof clear to him."

"I don't want to seem harsh but who are you living with at the moment? Regardless of your lack of feelings for Blake, he still adores you and things will get more complicated the longer you stay. I know, I'm on the outside looking in but how do you think Danes feels about you living with Blake? It has to be driving him insane."

"I assured him earlier that it's only temporary. I'm struggling to find a place of my own. I need to be near Ethan and that side of town is a little out of my price range."

"With what Dane is paying you, you shouldn't be struggling." Jess raised an eyebrow with a puzzled tone.

"Dane hasn't paid me in a little over a month."

"What? That has to be an oversight. It doesn't sound like him."

"He isn't being a jerk. It is quite the opposite. He added me to his account and said we were a family. What's his is mine and he didn't want to me to be limited to just my pay. At the time I was so entranced with the ring, getting married and being in love that I didn't even see a need to give it a second thought. But now, I'm not comfortable with dipping into that account. It's just not right."

"Ask Garrett for a loan. He will be more than happy to help you out."

"He is still paying off his student loans. I can't do that. I gave Blake some cash and he didn't want it but I'm paid up with him for the month. It's all I can do for now. I feel trapped until Dane reverts back to paying me. But then again, I'm going to feel horrible for getting paid. I love Ethan and it doesn't feel right to take money for it anymore. I know I sound crazy."