Winning the Lottery

Ch. 39 Not Broken, Just Bent

"Yeah, well, I'm all about death these days."

"Bridget."

"You're going to psych. How has that been going?"

"To be expected."

I nodded.

When the elevator stopped on my floor, I spoke, "Goodbye, Jake."

"Goodbye, Britt."

I stepped off the elevator and went to the nurses' station. I took a deep breath and sat down. I hadn't been prepared to see him. I hadn't anticipated how awful it would make me feel.

"Dr. Malone, how are you this morning?" Dr. Cole asked.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Feeling great. It's going to be a good day."

"I need something good to happen."

Dr. Adams came over. "Hey, can I steal Dr. Malone?"

"Sure."

I stood and followed Dr. Adams.

"I need someone who understands loss. I need a survivor. Can you be a survivor today?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"I have a mom that is about to have twins. One of them is about to die. I know she won't be able to handle it, so I need you to be her strength. I need you to tell her she can survive it."

I nodded.

We put scrub caps on and went into the operating room.

"No, I can't. I can't do this. He's safe. In me, he's safe. He can't die. He can't," she cried.

"Trish, remember, we've talked about this."

"No. No, I can't do this."

Dr. Adams nodded to me.

"Trish, my name is Britt. I know you're scared. I've been where you are before. This seems impossible right now, but it's not. It's really not. I promise," I spoke, walking over to her.

"What-What happened to your baby?"

"He was malnourished and he died in me. He stopped growing."

"Just like my son?"

I nodded.

"How did you handle it?"

"I didn't at first, but I was at rock bottom. You'll be at rock bottom, but the thing about rock bottom is that you can't get any lower. There's no where else to fall, so you have no choice left but to rise up and move on. The difference between me and you is that you have another little baby to love, to help you get through this, okay?"

She nodded. She looked at Dr. Adams. "Okay. We can do this if Britt stays. Can she stay?"

Dr. Adams looked at me. "Can you stay?"

"I would be honored."

Trish took my hand. Her husband had her other hand.

"Okay. Let's get started."

She began the surgery. When she was about to remove the first baby, she looked at me. "Dr. Malone, would you like to get gloved and gowned? I think you should hand him to her."

I nodded, scrubbed in, got gloved and gowned, and took the baby from Dr. Adams. I smiled at him, then handed him to Trish.

She held him for a couple minutes, then she kissed his head. She spoke, "Can I name him?"