Rehab >> m.c

Chapter eighteen

*Alice's POV again*
Opening my eyes was not what I wanted. Please let me be dead. Am I dead? I closed my eyes and opened them again. I looked around. I'm still alive. Michael sat in a chair looking at me with crimson eyes. I was crying at this point.

"How could you?" I whisper.

"You always ask that." His voice cracked.

"I didn't want to live, Michael and you fucking made me!" I cry.

"Alice I love you. I'm not going to fucking apologize for you being alive. I wish I got there sooner. You were so quickly taken away from me and I couldn't let you leave me. I wish you never had those feelings that pushed you over the edge. I would do anything to take it away. You are everything to me. Alice I held your lifeless body in my arms and I was so terrified you wouldn't wake up. You don't understand I can't loose you-" Michael started sobbing unable to finish.

"I didn't want to live. I was so scared. I'm sorry." I choked out. He grabbed my hand and dropped his head down. I tugged him towards me. Michael climbed into the bed and held me close to him. I buried my face in his pale neck choking back a sob.

"Don't leave me." He whispered calming himself down.

"I won't." I promise. An hour later we were still laying there in complete silence. It was peaceful. Neither of us could sleep we just lay there. No one came in and made Michael leave which I was grateful for. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't leave Michael. Or my parents. Or this whole world. I let my thoughts consume me. I'm not extremely happy that I'm still alive but I know I will be soon. I can't imagine never being able to see the trees again, or the sky, Michael's smile, his green eyes, the sun, flowers, just everything. It would all be gone. Even though I tell myself my parents don't care, they would be absolutely devastated. I have a lot to live for. A lot to look forward too. I'm only eighteen and I have my whole life ahead of me.

"I'm sorry." Michael's voice pulls me form my thoughts.

"For what?" I whisper.

"It's my fault." I shook my head immediately.

"No, Mikey never say that. It was not your fault. I wasn't thinking clearly and I just let everything overwhelm me and it got too much."

"Just if you ever feel overwhelmed again come talk to me or tell the nurses to call me since I won't be here too much longer. I just need you to not isolate yourself and go get help." Michael told me. I nodded my head.

"Promise me." Michael said.

"I promise."

~

They let me leave the medical room/ hospital room the day Michael was leaving. Ashton was picking him up. I stood at the curb with him and a couple nurses behind us for me.

"I'm proud of you." I smiled at him.

"Thanks babe. You know I'm proud of you too. I'll always be." Michael kissed my forehead.

"I'll miss you." I sighed.

"I know Al. I'll visit you every chance I get. I got to get some more money saved up to get a place." Michael sighed remembering his responsibilities. Ashton pulled up in a truck, his curly hair bouncing around. Ashton hopped out running up to Mike.

"Michael! I'm so happy to see you! Oh my god hey Alice!" Ashton smiled pulling us both in a hug. Michael hugged me tight kissing my lips hard.

"Oh woah." Ashton giggled.

"I love you. See you soon." He whispered.

"I love you too." I kissed him again and watched them drive off.

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