A Broken Heart's Last Wish

-CH 31- Splashes

MILD TW: MINTION OF SELF HARM

Kyle Miller

They were all really exhausted from the road trip, so one by one they all fell asleep, totally randomly, they didn't even use the sleeping bags, just some blankets and they leaned into each other.

I was just scroll through my phone... My eyes looked up, it was 5:42am now, but I couldn't sleep, not that was ever able to sleep, I glanced at Arson and Jason, Jason was laying on the floor using his sleeping bag as a pillow, Arson was actually the only on using his sleeping bag.

Amy and Kaity were leaned into each other, my eyes then landed on Anika... she was lying close to me, I gave her my Jacket so she can use it as a pillow, I kept telling her to open the sleeping bag but she was so lazy to do it.

I stood up, my hands went to feel the pack in my pocket... I promised Arson to stop... But I just had no other choice.

I got out of the tent as calmly as possible, It was still dark, but the sky was a lighter blue now, I guess sun was going to rise soon. Walking to a place a bit far from them, I took out my cigarettes, Guilt washed over me, but I just needed this now.

I sat down on a nearby tree trunk, a safe distance away from the tent. Taking a deep breath, I lit the cigarette and inhaled the soothing smoke. My mind was a tangle of thoughts, emotions, and regrets. The quiet night air seemed to amplify my inner turmoil. As the tip of the cigarette glowed bright orange, I felt trapped in the cycle of my own making.

But it felt so nice and calming... I am sorry Arson...

I continued smoking, the rhythmic motion of inhaling and exhaling providing a sense of temporary relief. The sky gradually brightened, the first tendrils of sunlight peeking over the horizon. I glanced at my watch, it was close to 6am.

I took one last drag and tossed the cigarette to the ground, extinguishing it with my shoe. I let out a long exhale, watching the smoke dissipate into the morning air. The sun was slowly rising, casting a warm glow over the trees and tent.

I dug into the pack again, pulling out another cigarette. Lighting it, I watched the flames for a brief moment as they danced and then slowly extinguished, a soft ember.

The sky was growing brighter by the minute, the sun just creeping over the horizon. I took a long drag, the smoke filling my lungs, providing a momentary escape from my thoughts.

I don't know how much time had passed, but when I looked at the pack in my bandaged hand, it was... empty, I glanced at the time once more, it was now 7:00am, I had to try and get some sleep now.... but damn, I smelled like smoke now...

With a deep breath, I made my way back to the tent. However, the distinct smell of smoke clung to my clothes. I'd need to find time to change discreetly before everyone woke up.

* 12:30 pm*

My eyes slowly flickered open, the bright sunlight filtering through the tent making me squint and shield my face. It took a moment to orient myself.

I sat up, rubbing my temples, feeling the exhaustion from the previous night's escapade. I scanned the tent, only to find it empty, my friends seemingly up and about for the day.

I glanced at my watch—it was already 12:30. With a groan, I forced myself out of the sleeping bag and stumbled to my feet, running a hand through my messy hair. 

As I took a deep breath, I felt like shit, I was so grumpy and my head hurt so much, but wasn't going to like ruin the mood for them all just because I am stupid.