A Broken Heart's Last Wish

-CH 18- Sorrows

TW: self doubt/ trauma

****

After a while Kyle's eyes fluttered open. Everything was still blurry and he could see some blood and dirt stains on the bandage that was still wrapped around his right hand, the wounds might have opened again due to what happened, he gathered all his strength and pushed himself up into a sitting position but the pain immediately rushed through his whole body, a soft groan slipped by from his lips, he sighed heavily and shook his head to the right and left to clear his blurry vision, he looked around, the place was completely empty, only some empty broken bottles of wine on the ground, and some trash at the edges of the stone walls.

Reaching for his phone, he frowned, it was completely broken and wasn't even turning on at all, so he threw it back into the ground. The pain wasn't as bad anymore so he decided to try and stand up, he placed his hand on the wall and tried to lift himself off the ground but as soon as he stood up, he felt a really sharp pain on his side, he immediately clutched it tightly and fell right into his knees while whimpering in pain, he stared breathing really fast because he didn't realize how much effort he used just to get himself up, only to fall again.

He sighed while running his fingers through his messy hair, he suddenly felt something warm on his hand, he pulled it and looked at it, it was blood! he saw there was blood on his fingertips.

"Strange... I don't remember someone hitting... hitting me on my head, " he whispered hoarsely, then rested his head back into the wall behind him.

"God... I am stupid... very... stupid, did I really think life was getting better?" he said with a bitter smile and cracked voice.

"No... it can never get better... why do I even bother... why didn't those guys just... just end me..."
he felt a lump form in his throat, he just lowered his head into his arm that was rested on his knee while his other leg was extended on the ground.

"I am... pathetic... just like father said," he uttered in a strangled and shaky voice, his eyes were bloodshot red, and already started watering.

"I am sorry... I swear I am very sorry..." he curled on himself even more and hid his face in his arm, warm tear drops fell into his arm and slid down into the ground, his sobs were barely audible, only some sniffles escaped his lip.

"Pathetic... I am... pathetic... he was right... I am weak... it wasn't hard for them to end me with just a couple of punches..." he sniffled again.

"But I tried... I tried my best... I tried father but it's.... hard, I am sorry... I am sorry Anika... I am sorry that you all had to deal with me... sorry...just sorry.." he whispered bitterly.

He almost felt physical pain from how upset he was at this moment, he could literally feel his heart melting as if you just poured acid on it. He was hurting both physically and emotionally, it was as if all the sadness and grief he felt in the past years, gathered on him now like a black huge wave of regret and pain. (let's take a deep breath because the next part is really sad :))

He remembered everything, every time he stayed up all night studying just to make his father proud, but got slapped instead, every time he came home hurt and just wanted a warm hug, but got cold water thrown right into his face just because his tone was a bit loud. Every single time he got those looks of pity from his aunt, and every time he didn't eat just because he was scared that his father might get mad and he would scare Zoe!, he remembered that his stuttering problem immediately comes back if he was scared or nervous, and that he flinches every time someone raises their hand up or move it next to him, or when his father didn't even let him explain and just used the belt to talk, it all was overwhelming, and even though he was known as the strong handsome guy, deep down he knew just how weak he really is, he thought he wasn't afraid of him anymore... but he actually was.. he really was.

****

On the other hand Jason and Ani were still looking for him, Jason knew that Kyle usually went to empty or narrow places to smoke so he searched for him there, but as he was walking he noticed someone who looked a bit familiar but he couldn't make out who he was because he was wearing a cap and a mask, the guy walked right past them but suddenly stopped, to which Jason got a bit alerted.

"Your friend... is not okay" whispered the guy then lowered the cap even more so Jason can't see his face, he then pointed at a narrow street and quickly left.

"AY! wait! what do you mean huh?!" he tried to catch the guy but he was faster so he just gave up and turned back to Ani.
"I don't know what's going on... but I think you better wait here." he said to her in a serious tone which he barely uses.

"Huh? why you can go but I can't? he's my friend too you know, " She replied annoyingly, while rolling her eyes, she hated when people tell her what she should and shouldn't do.

"What do you mean 'your friend' Kyle is MY friend who I know better than anyone, and you just shoved yourself into his life while knowing NOTHING about him and then call yourself his friend?!" he growled back angrily.

"Omg calm down it's not like I will hurt him or anything! I am as worried as you are!" she exclaimed while glaring at him, it was as if they continued like this a storm will start.

"But you-... Ugh! why does this matter now, he may be hurt and we're just here arguing over this stupid shit!" he then clenched his fists and decided to go take a look in that street which the guy pointed at earlier.

"Fine, fine! wait for me." she then followed him quickly before he went too far away.

They both walked into that place which really did look creepy and a bit dark even though it was noon, and the minute Jason spotted him, his heart dropped from how battered he looked.

His hair was messy, and there was blood flowing from a small cut on the top of his head, His face had fresh bruises and even some scratches on his palm and face, his eyes were red around the eyelids and his lashes were still a bit wet from his previous crying. (Kyle omg I want to cry)

Ani's hand immediately went to her mouth in shock from how bad it looked, while Jason rushed to him.

"What on earth happened Kyle!" he said as he kneeled down, but Kyle just looked down and refused to say anything, he felt pathetic enough already, he couldn't let them know that he was crying, especially not her... just not her...

author's note: Ahm ahm

writing this chap was really sad...

It's annoying that I loved my babies during writing, and the fact that I know what's coming next is so sad, but don't worry guys HEHE, or maybe worry I dno :) </3

Also a quick fun game, who do you think the masked guy was? the first three to guess it right, I'll put their book on my message bord <33

love you all <3

mistakes will be edited later