Meri Tamilachi

45 ~ Revealing his feelings

Idhalya pov :

" That night , I left you without uttering any word after I got a call . That's from the hospital. Once I reached the hospital, I came to know that ...... She woke up from the coma.... I don't know what to say to her. How to face her. Still I came in front of her. "

I removed my hands from him and cleaved myself from his hard chest. I don't know, how I feel , after what he said. That makes sense,Why did he behave with me like that.

He has solid reasons. He suffered a lot. He holds all this into him without sharing with anyone. How much it pains him.

Still he came to save me. He prioritised me. I knew it when Rana said all things about him. I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted to know how he felt about me . I wanted him to burst out. I wanted him to express his feelings for me.

Yes , I pushed him to the edge. I don't regret that. I deserve to know the truth. About his feelings and his past too.

Now , I can understand, why he put distance between us. Why did he suffer himself. It's all because , he felt guilty about what he happened to her. He blamed himself for that.

But nothing is his fault. He did nothing wrong. It happened. No one's fault.

Man like him , every woman fall for him. And she did too. That's it.

What wrong is , she shouldn't try to end her life. It affected his life too. He lives with this burden for years. Without being himself.

" She called me with tears flowing eyes. I ran towards her and apologized her . But what she said first is ' I love you Aarav ' . I knew this would happen. I had to be prepared. Still it hurts to accept those words from her when ..... When ..... You are in my life. I .... I couldn't... Say yes .... Or no.... To her. So I said ... ' I am here for you. Now and always. ' Her eyes glow in happiness. She held my hand and kissed them . Then doctor explained everything about her condition including motherhood. She was broken after hearing it. She brokes into cries. I held her arms and caressed her and said I am with her. Then only she felt calm. "

He said with those sobbing voice. It's hurting to see him breaking like this. I didn't experienced to such kind of Aarav.

I raised my hand to touch him. But I couldn't. Something stops me. I couldn't think what he said before that he is mine.

That was totally out of situation. We shared those words and bonds in our world. Only ours. There is no one except us.

But now....

" I refused for marriage from starting because of Anni. No day ends without seeing her face and expecting her to wake up. That tortured me inside. Her silence. I was dying inside. I don't know how to show it. And you came into my life. "

He looked at me. Actually looked at my eyes.

" You are truly my distraction. The only distraction I terribly wanted in my life. The distraction that makes my life more normal than ever even I had some dark side to keep up. Everything changed once you entered into my life. The one face I saw before going to bed to the one face I saw from getting up from the bed. You ... You are everywhere. You are every time. You are everything. "

He slowly held my hand. I couldn't control the tears which are bursting out after what I heard.

" Idhalya.... I felt more alive than before. I sensed every changes inside me when you near me , when you touch me , when you inhale me. Everything.... Everything affects me a lot. Makes it different for me. I have never felt like this for anyone before "

He moved closer to me by stepping forward.

" I ... I thought I can hate you. I thought I can keep up my promise when I said at my marriage. I thought I can leave you. I thought I could hate you easily. But .... Everything pay backs me. Your every hurt , hurted me. Your every pain , killed me. Your every disappear , tortured me. I hate that. I fucking hate myself for loosing me in your hands. "