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I watch her as she gets ready to head out with my brothers men. Mounting up with them on J's bike they look like a pack of nightmares.
I refuse to let her leave before she hears what I have to say though, I might die tonight and she needs to know.
As I make my way towards them Eddric, Damien and Kai straighten up at once and lower their eyes. A complete show of discipline and submission to my authority. I love it. Natalia, however turns her back to me yet again and one half of me wants to lash out at her for disrespecting me in front of subordinates, the other half wants to grovel at her feet and beg her to forgive me.
"You aren't leaving without hearing me Natalia." I tell her calmly
"I know you can't talk yet and I don't care. I just need you to listen. Nod your pretty head for me if you understand." I know that taunting her will at least get a reaction out of her and that's better than nothing at this point
On cue she spins around and glares at me with all the hate in the world. My heart drops to my ass knowing that I hurt her so deeply there's not and inkling of kindness left in those big brown eyes for me.
"I'm sorry. I am." I tell her with all of the sincerity I can convey not caring that everyone can hear me apologize.
Her only response is to cross her arms across her chest and roll her eyes.
With a sigh I try again, "I know. I'm an asshole. I'm sorry. I am. I lost my shit and I reverted to the old me and you didn't deserve that. I own that, I fucked up. You have to understand what seeing you like that did to me though. It wasn't the first time that I thought you were going to die on me and I froze this time. It was different this time because my feelings for you are different and I froze. That can't happen. Do you understand? I can't freeze. I don't freeze. Ever. So I got mad at myself and lashed out at you when you wouldn't let me explain myself but I am sorry. Please believe me."
"Ooohhh so that's why Diego said she's off limits. My bad I didn't know she was yours boss." Kai says sheepishly
To that Natalia bristles and turns to glare at him, a series of profanities clear in her beautifully cold eyes.
"Baby?" I question letting the pang of jealousy that hits me knowing someone else wants her slide for just this once.
She looks back at me and inspects me closely, no doubt looking for any sign of deceit from me. Well she won't find any.
"Fine. Later." She mouths and gives me a resolved nod of her head
"So I'm forgiven?" I push because I need to know. I need to know now before we say goodbye possibly for the last time.
She shakes her head, cold eyes saying no and I deflate.
"It will take me time but tonight I'm with you." She mouths at me and I take what I can get. I'll survive tonight and win her back. There's no other option for me.
