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"So...why does she call you 'sir' all the time? She's on a first name basis with everyone else, is she not allowed to say your name?" Ricky asks sounding bored.
"You call me boss, why can't she call me sir?" I deadpanned.
"I say it out of respect for my friend, can you say it's the same for her?"He asks meeting my eyes.
"Why do you care J?"I'm starting to get annoyed by his line of questions...
"I don't, I'm just curious. The look on your face when you heard her laugh was out of character for you Dante." He states all matter of fact.
"And what look was that?"
"Longing" he says closing his eyes and resting his head on my plush couch.
"I think your starting to see things J. You were just as shocked as I was. She doesn't often lose her composure. That's all it was. Shock. Not longing"
"If you say so boss" he says with his eyes still closed.
"I do say so." I tell him through my teeth
He throws his hands up in surrender and doesn't say another word.
I don't have longing for Natalia, Joker doesn't know what he saw. I just haven't seen her crack more than a smile since the day I told her Diego would kill Izzy if she so much as disobeyed me.
What did she expect though, she was brought into my inner circle as a stranger. I needed a way to ascertain her loyalty. It wasn't personal, besides, that plan backfired on me the day Izzy won over Diego.
If I were to even suggest endangering Izzy in any way I'm certain Diego would literally skin me alive. I'm 80% sure Dom would help him. If anything ever happened to Natalia, Dom would hate me for the rest of our miserable lives. The only thing I have going for me is that Natalia doesn't know Diego and Izzy are together.
I don't know that she would stay if she finds out I no longer have leverage against her. I don't want her to leave. She's second best only to Joker, plus she has a certain way of seeing things. She's all about thinking outside the box.
If I'm being honest with myself...she grounds me, keeps me level headed.
Ever since the obstacle course....
I thought she was dead. What I felt...I've only felt once before and I vowed I'd never feel like that again. She can't leave me. Us. She can't leave us.
