His Warrior Queen: A Haikyuu!! Novel (Tsukishima x OC)

Chapter 116: Kageyama: I Know You Care

Nakano laughs.  "Deep and meaningful?  What the hell does that even mean, Tobio?"

"I just don't know if we're doing this right."

"Oh Tobio-chan."  She shakes her head, and then looks up, looking me straight in the eyes.  "Answer me this, Tobio.  Are you happy with Shoyo?"  I pause to consider, she snaps her fingers at me, making me jump. "Don't think, just answer.  Are you happy with Shoyo?"

"Yes."

"Then you're doing it right."

"But we don't seem to have like...I dunno...the same...depth...of..."

"Stop comparing your relationship to everyone else.  You and Shoyo won't be like Tsukki and I, because you aren't Tsukki and I!  Just like you are not Oikawa, so your relationships won't be like his.  You are you, Kags, and you're gonna be just fine.  Maybe you and Shoyo will be together forever.  Maybe you won't.  But when you get to worrying about these things, ask yourself - am I happy?  Is my partner happy?  And until the answer to one of those questions becomes 'no,' stop worrying if your relationship doesn't look exactly like other people's."

I scoff at her.  "Is it really that easy, Naka-chan?"

She scoffs back.  "I never said it would be easy.  But your relationships will be yours, however many you have, and you don't have to live up to any standard or timeline set by anyone else.   Kei and I realized that one a while ago - we're going at our own pace, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it.  Now seriously, do you feel like something is missing from your relationship with Hinata?"

I stop again to think, and this time she just waits.  Are we missing something?  What am I really worried about here?  "I mean, I'm happy being with Shoyo.  But...I guess...we don't talk much about like, the future, or anything.  You know, like what's gonna happen when we graduate from Karasuno."

"Do you feel like you need to talk about that with him now?"

"Shouldn't we?"

She shakes her head at me again.  "There you go again, Kags.  Forget what you think you're supposed to be doing at five months in and tell me how you feel.  Tell me what you need."

What do I need?  Do I need anything?  Is there something I need that Hinata isn't giving me?  Or I am just so fixated on making sure I keep up with what I think I'm expected to do, that I'm making up problems in my own head?  When I'm with Hinata, I don't worry about this stuff...it's only when I'm on my own that I seem to get all caught up in my head about this.  I'm starting to wonder if I even know what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling it.

I sigh.  "I think maybe what I really need is to talk to Shoyo, and see how he feels.  Because I'm not sure I really understand how I'm feeling right now."

Naka-chan leans over and pats my leg.  "That sounds like a really good idea, Tobio-chan."

"Think he's up yet?"

"Maybe give him a little more time to sleep in today, hmmm?  It's kind of nice, just sitting here spending some time with you.  We can talk some more about it, or we can just relax, Tobio, whatever you want to do.  I'm here for you, you know."

She leans forward, opening her arms, and I give her a big hug.  "I know you are, Naka-chan.  I know you care.  And I really appreciate that.  Thanks, for always being there for me."

"You bet, Big Bro."

🏐🏐🏐

Nakano and I stayed and chatted about other things for awhile, but after about an hour she started yawning a lot and decided to go back to bed.  I just stayed here, thinking, and watching the sea birds.