enough

Ruhan

It's been 3 fucking years since she left. I tried to find her but her tracks were cleared. I wonder how was helping her because I am damn sure she isn't that smart. I mean yes she is smart but she was a simple girl and she wouldn't know how to cover her tracks. 

I am so mad at her because she left without saying anything. It's like she was here and then she was not. 

After she left, Sid realized what he lost, and that finally made him realize that needed to grow up. He asked Suhani to keep the baby if she wanted and asked her to marry him. Suhani decided to keep the baby after all but it took her very long to trust Sid again to marry him. Given her condition, everything was complicated. We all missed Khushi so much for so long. She left a void that we always felt, and we all still feel it.

Every passing day weighed heavy on me with the burden of guilt for how Suhani and I had unfairly blamed her for our own foolish decisions. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was and how much I loved her.

Yes, I love her. I realized I was nothing without her in my life. It felt like a piece of me was taken away and I was incomplete. 

I only ever wanted her happiness, even if it meant not being with me. That's why I never fought for her attention when she was drawn to Sid. But now, with her absence, the longing has driven me to the brink of madness.

As Sid and Suhani embarked on their journey into parenthood at a remarkably young age, they found themselves navigating a maze of challenges and joys with their adorable bundle of joy. The demands of raising their child consumed their days, leaving little room for memories of their past. It's not their fault; I don't hold them accountable.

I missed her so fucking much.

"Beta what are you doing up so late?", my mother said walking into the hall where I was lying on the couch, going through Khushi's pictures. I realized it was 3 am.

"I couldn't sleep ma", he said tiredly.

she caught a glimpse of her pictures on my screen. 

After she left, I was miserable because Where had she disappeared to? Was she safe? The uncertainty gnawed at my insides, leaving me feeling utterly helpless and lost.

Desperation consumed me as I longed to see her once more, to assure myself that she was alright. Yet, when I reached out to her parents for answers, their dismissive response shattered me. They assured me she was fine but showed no interest in further discussing her whereabouts or well-being. Left with no closure, I grappled with the torment of unanswered questions, haunted by the memory of a friend who had vanished without a trace.

"How long are you going to try to find her?", she asked sitting next to me.

"Until I find her", I replied

Tears welled up in my mother's eyes as she spoke, her voice trembling with emotion. "She's gone, Ruhan. As much as it pains me to say it, you have to accept it. Watching you suffer like this breaks my heart. It's like... It's like you've lost all zest for life. I want my son back, Ruhan. You're 29 already. Please, I beg you, consider marriage. I want to see you find happiness, especially if something were to happen to me," she pleaded.

I was wrong, I would give up on my little one but she is my mother and it is her wish to marry me before something happens to her. She has been sick for many years now. Doctors don't diagnose any disease but she always felt sick and weak. 

"fine Mom, start finding a girl", I said with a heavy heart.

"Thank you baccha", she kissed my forehead and walked back to her bedroom.

Mom was right, I had to accept the fact that she was gone now. she was gone. Maybe she had found happiness elsewhere, living her dreams without me. Accepting her absence was the first step towards healing, even though the ache in my heart would remain. I went back to my room and started working.